My little boy

:)
Tomorrow is Rhett's first day of two a week preschool! Truth in blogging... I have had a knot in my stomach all day thinking about taking him in the morning. Last year there were tears and sobs at every drop off ~ his not mine. It is hard for me to leave Rhett. In fact last year when Kolby started Kindergarten and Rhett started Mothers Day Out the next week, I teared up at leaving Kolby but I literally threw-up in the parking lot after leaving Rhett. Leaving Rhett has never been easy.

Rhett came into the world scaring us. He had a "hard birth" they said because I went from a "finger tip" to a ten in less than an hour.(Twas no picnic for me either because Mr.Epidural did not have time to join us!) A team had assembled to greet him with oxygen and a warmer. I held him a mere 5 seconds before they whisked him away. Luckily, it was just on of those hiccups in life. No permanent problems. A few days in the special care nursery and we were good to go. I'm not sure if it was the three miscarriages before him, my "high-risk" pregnancy, his following scary birth or just me being protective of my baby boy, but I have a real soft spot for that Rhett! So tonight when he came into our room and whispered "Mommy lay down wit me." I trekked across the house and did.

He was quite chatty. He wanted to tell me all about his Thomas birthday party coming up and all the friends he wants to come over and jump. (We are getting a jumpy/bounce house this year.) He talked about throwing up in the van earlier. (car sick-we hope!) He talked about baby "Ba Kenna" coming to our house. Then he said "I not go to school in the morning." I felt my stomach turn as I said, "You will love school!" and named all the friends he would see there.
"Will you go wit me?"
Of course
"Will you stay wit me?"
" A big almost three year old wouldn't want his Mama with him."
He sat up and put his thumb in his chest "I'm a two year old an I want you to stay at school wit me"
Touched by the affection and troubled by the request, I managed a "No you don't..." and changed the subject.
Finally I asked him to close his eyes and say his prayers. This was more for the "close your eyes" value than the spiritual value because we prayed an hour or so earlier when I put him in bed the first time.
He put up his "praying" hands and said "Dear God, Thankyou for me and for Mama going to school wit me. Amen"
He turned over and went to sleep instantly.

Anyone want to take Rhett to school in the morning? All of a sudden, I'm not feeling up to it! I didn't want to leave him even after he went to sleep. There is nothing more beautiful to me than the sight of a healthy sleeping child! Yes dear God thank you for Rhett! Thank you so very much.

I am not sure how long I lay there. But I said a long prayer for my little boy. Emotional Mommy that I am, I was all teary and blubbery when I finally crept back across the house. I can't help think about Deby Evans and her son, her only child. Will he ever hear his Mom's voice or feel her hug again? Things like this make me want to freeze dry moments like I just had with Rhett and make them last forever! Will I remember how his little hands feel? Can't I capture one of his eskimo or butterfly kisses and keep it forever? And his little voice... be still my heart! I know a million Moms before me and a million Moms after me will share these feelings about their sons (and daughters, but I'm on Rhett tonight) but to me there is no other little boy in the world like Rhett. My mother used to tell me that she wouldn't trade me for anything... now I know what she meant. I couldn't trade him, I have a real hard time just dropping off for 5 hours! I love my little boy so much.

Dear Father
Thank you for Rhett. Please help him have fun at school, Please! Help me to be the best Mom I can be for him. Please protect my children from evil. How can I ever ask more than for my children to be blessed as you have blessed me! Thankyou for giving us your son. How horrible it must have been for you to see him on that cross! How can we ever doubtyour love for us? What more could you do to show us love? AND Please Lord, help Deby Evans return home to her son. Please let her wake up if for no other reason than to say goodbye. Please allow her to stay here longer. We just want her to wake up so badly! Thank you for your promises. Thank you for hearing our plea. Thank you for your perfect example of love, sacrifice and to letting go! In your sons name, AMEN