I'm afraid to enter the political storm surrounding the Terri Schiavo case. However, how can anyone in the country not think about it? This tragedy is slowing unfolding every day in our newspapers, courts, and now the halls of Congress. Lord have mercy on this situation! My heart aches for her parents and her husband. What a mess! I downloaded a set of living wills for Rob and I to fill out. My last living will was done pre-marriage. I find no answers when I ask what I would do in their position.
When I look at it from Terri's position or that from that of her husband who has sworn under oath time and again that Terri told him she never wanted to be "a vegetable" and she would rather die, I think it is cruel an inhumane to make her live like this. Terri Schiavo suffered brain damage in 1990 when her heart stopped briefly from a chemical imbalance believed to have been brought on by an eating disorder. Somewhere in all this, I think the point is lost that she became vegetative after starving herself. She would have died in 1990 if feeding tubes had not been inserted into her comatose, brain dead body. Is this what she wanted? Didn't she make known,at least in some respects, her desire to live or die by her actions? What is her husband supposed to do with the knowledge that his wife never wanted this?
But then I look at her parents. Oh I feel for them! How could anyone just stand by and let their child starve to death? How can it be humane to let someone slowly starve to death? Starvation is a painful, torturous, miserable way to die. Even if Terri had a living will, would it be any easier to watch her die? Do we truly have the right to take away the life that God breathed into us, even if it is our own life? There is so much more going on here than a woman choosing or not choosing to die. For her parents, it doesn't seem natural or right for a child to die first. As a parent, I can not imagine how heart wrenching all this must be for them. What a nightmare!
Somehow I don't think we mere humans have the wisdom to make these decisions. I read that President Bush said something like this is a very complex issue and when in doubt, it is better to rule on the side of life. I understand what he is saying and I partially agree. But still, I wonder if what Terri has been doing for the last 15 years is really living. Then again, who am I to make that call? I have had the privilege of knowing several mentally and physically handicapped people who had more "life" in them than some of the "normal" grey faced expressionless people I see on Sunday mornings! Do we have the right to say that the existence of life is or is not justified by it's quality? I am very glad this is not my call.
A few years ago my yard stick of what is right and wrong in death was broken by my Grandmother's Alzheimers. I almost said "battle with alzheimers" but really, there was no battle. This dreaded disease quietly wormed it's way into my Nana's mind and took over. She never had a chance.
For the last five years at least, my Nana has been living her worst nightmare. She has a few hazy good moments when properly medicated, but the majority of the time her mind is tormented and agitated as she constantly searches for loved ones she can't find and tries to live in a time that doesn't exist anymore, aside from scrapbooks and memories. I feel very guilty in saying that I don't know why she has to live like this, but I don't. Death seems like a peaceful welcoming friend. If any member of my family were asked, we would tell you death is not the worst thing that can happen to a person.
Issues and heartaches like this make me glad that this world is not my home, I'm just passing through. And the miracle of this world is that every day is new and Christ has given us hope in any situation... Life or death. I join our nation in praying for both sides of Terri Schiavo's family and for Terri herself. May they all come to a place of peace soon!
four things | twelve (Christmas edition)
19 hours ago
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23 comments:
Thank you so much for this incredibly gentle and honest post. In my 100 things about me, I said I'm a moderate. This would be one of those issues where I know and care for people who are firmly on one side or the other. They can't understand why I don't "Get It." But I think I do get it. My opinion is smack dab in the middle with a breaking heart. Whoever prevails in this battle, NO ONE wins. Terri lost 15 years ago when the real tragedy happened, a child of God couldn't see the beauty in his creation and destroyed herself with pain and sorror. Thank you for putting my thoughts to words.
Grace and Peace,
Kim
I agree that this is a decision I would hate to have to make. I think the hardest thing about it is that she is breathing on her own and has shown some response to her family members. One article I read says her facial expressions seem to "beam" when her loved ones enter the room. It would be so hard to let someone starve to death when they are living in this sense. Another thing that makes it hard, is that her husband how has a new woman in his life and they have children. He is unable to marry this new woman because he can't obtain a divorce while Terry still lives.
I have been considering blogging about this myself, but you said what I have been thinking.
Good post! If nothing else good comes from this maybe we will all make sure we and our loved ones express their wishes.
I just find it extremely hard to accept that she must starve to death. If you remove a respirator there is the possibility of breathing on your own; and if not you die quickly. But a person who is unable to feed themselves hasn't got a chance and their death is slow and excrutiating. There is so much expression on her face in the clips they show of her. I too am glad I don't have to make this decision, I would have to pray that she truly is unable to think or feel because starving is such a horrible way to die.
We had a discussion at lunch yesterday about this topic as well. What we kept coming back to is what DJG brought up - there must be a better way than to starve her over a period of (how many?!) days.
I hope that, if nothing else, this brings up exactly what you said Steph, "I downloaded a set of living wills for Rob and I to fill out. My last living will was done pre-marriage." It is so vital and crucially important for every single person to decide what they would want and document it, sign it, date it, tell your family, tell your doctor. I think even kids that are old enough (teenagers?) should have this conversation with their parents.
Thanks for the way you approached this topic, Stephanie. It speaks to your heart.
Thank you for your comments. It's been a hard thing to watch unfold. However, something that everyone has missed is this: she is in hospice care and one of the main objectives of hospice is to keep someone comfortable. Yes - the removal of this tube brings its own set of torturous consequences, but not that cannot be lessened by these hospice professionals.
Stephanie, my grandmother, too, has Alzheimer's. It has to be the worst thing to watch a loved one - it's like living a funeral everyday.
Thank you for sharing!
I have been reading up and listening to arguments on both sides this week and have developed some pretty strong opinions.
So many people have said this week, "Starvation doesn't hurt, it is actually euphoric." If this is the case, why not let convicted felons on death row starve to death? It would save tax payers a bundle.
The husband claims that she said if she were in a vegetative state that she would like to die. The family claims that this didn't even sound like something she would say. When people argue over she said/he said and there is no living will, why not err on the side of life?
Also as I wrote in my blog yesterday, so many human rights groups are incensed by the terrorists at Abu Ghraib prison having underwear put on their head and yet stand by silently as an innocent disable American is starved to death. Seems like a double standard.
Sorry for the rant. I just can't imagine the grief of the parents and siblings.
Are you saying that the life of an American who registers no brain activity should be valued over that of an Iraqi being totured in Abu Ghraib? One has nothing to do with another and both are tragic. TS's starvation will not be painful because she has no feeling from the neck up. She has no pain and no emotion. She is basically brain numb. The videos they put out are very deceptive. She has made no improvement in 15 years, why do her parents think she will suddenly turn a corner and get better? There is no medical/scientific evidence to support this.
I feel very sorry for the husband. What is he supposed to do? His wife has been gone since 1990 when he was in his late 20s. Now he is in his 40s but he can not legally divorse Terri because he holds her insurance and she is not mentally capable of going through a divorce. Mean while, the mother of his kids has no insurance and is not allowed to be his wife. The husband isn't brain dead and he has a right to live his life.
I guess we all have our strong opinions on this. God bless us all.
If TS had no brain activity, she would be dead. She does have brain activity, just not upper level cognition.
Pain is not an upper level cognitive function. It is in the brain stem which is working just fine for Terri. Otherwise she would not be able to breathe. I bet if you stuck a pin in her foot, she would react.
She has shown emotion as well by "beaming" when her parents come to see her. Several nurses who worked with her said she said words often such as "mommy", so I wouldn't claim that she has no brain activity.
Also, the husband could get a divorce if he wanted to. Only one party needs to agree to a divorce, not two.
Also, humiliaion and torture are two different things. I am not saying that I agree with what happened in the Iraqi prison, but calling it torture is quite a stretch.
Just a question: Why would Terri's husband spend so much time & energy & money for lawyers if he didn't care about her? If you don't care anymore, then you walk away. If I were in his position, I would have mourned the loss of my spouse long ago. We don't know what the state of their marriage was, especially since she was already killing herself with her eating disorder, but to start judging this man as a horrible person is just wrong & ignorant. We just don't have ALL the info. on this one & we never will. I will give him the benefit of the doubt & since he is her husband, he alone should have the say for her - she left her parent's when she married him. The lessons to learn are: 1. Set up a living will. 2. Know the kind of person you are married to - ask THEM what they would do in this situation. 3. Think about Mary, Jesus' mother, as she watched her son hanging on a cross. She is an inspiration to every parent.
I am thankful to see a blog that discusses both sides of this. I don't think we know all the facts. As much as I can't imagine very many of us wanting to live in that state, I can't imagine starving her to death either. It's just so complicated!
Wow! I've been gone all day. I'm not suprised to find stongly opinonated comments on this post because this case seems to divide people into three groups, 1)those who think TS should live, 2)those who think it is time to let TS go, and 3)those who really feel torn down the middle and glad they are not having to make the call. I am in that last group.
As you know, the controversy is not unique to this blog. I just read someone qoute Ann Coulter on Mike Cope's blog...never thought I'd see that! Blogs are a great way to express ourselves and look at the other side. We don't have to agree on this.
I am praying that the God of all comfort will hear the prayers of the nation and in some way intervene. There are no winners here. In the end, one way or the other, the world has lost a young woman and families are mourning.
Whatever your take is on this, I urge you to pray for TS and her family...and say a few words for the "enemy' as well.
In eight hours lent will be over. I'm having Iced tea for breakfast! :)
I thought Lent ended on Easter morning. Did I miss something growing up?
Beaner~
Something I read when I started this Lent exercise said that Lent ended on Thursday night 12:30 am, really Good Friday morning. Since I typed this yesterday, I have been told that is not the case....Dad gum! So Still waiting till Easter! :)
My husband decided to give up sweets for Lent. He has been "suffering" through low sugar moments & I have been "suffering" through a crabby husband. Not sure if this was the intention of Lent - hope all is going better w/your Lenten promise!!!
President Bush was all to happy to err on the side of death when it came to capital punishment in Texas. Since when did he decide to hold life so dear?? 175 Texans were put to death during his watch and 10 of those have since been proven innocent of their crime. Err on the side of life??? Since when???
Are you comparing the life of an innocent disabled American to the lives of convicted death row inmates?
What makes Terri so "innocent"? Isn't this whole mess the result of her own actions? Let's not forget that she might just be paying for her own mistake. And maybe some people see that a life is a life is a life. Who knows? But let's not be so quick to judge this woman as an innocent victim.
Eb & beaner.. I admire both of you for standing true to what you believe.
Ftworth cowboy... You actually have a point there. I am a big Bush fan, as anyone who reads this blog knows, but I think it does seem sort of like a double standard on both the right and the left. How can one be against the death penalty, for the "right to life" and for abortion? Then again how can one be against abortion, euthanasia and physician assisted suicide, and for the death penalty? It does seem odd to place such situational values on human life, doesn't it? These are topsy turvy crazy times we are living in. It's good to know that God is in control.
I have tried to put myself in Terri Schiavos place lately. Would I want to still be alive in her present state? Would I agree to staring todeath? Would I want my husband and parents to have to spend tons of money and care for me in a near vegitative state for decades to come? Would I want my husband to so blatantly ignore the wishes of my parents and break their hearts? I just hope Terri doesn't know about the storm that surrounds her and how it has divided her loved ones. I think that pain would be worse than starvation. I am praying right now for the Schindlers and the Schiavos. May they all soon be a peace, one way or another.
Oh and for the record, just in case it should ever come up... I do not want my life sustained by artifcle means, including a feeding tube, if I am in a vegitative non-coma state. I would hate to put that on any of my loved ones. Just thought I would say that. I urge everyone to talk to their loved ones, all their loved ones, and make their wishes crystal clear on this. It does nothing to right the wrongs, but at least if nothing else, that is one of the teachings in this horrible case!
I am looking over the comments and realize that I sounded pretty angry.
I guess the hardest thing about this case is that there are no easy answers. We don't know what she wanted, we don't know why she is in the state that she is in. We don't know the husbands motivations.
And I do agree with Ft.Worth Cowboy that Bush has contradicted himself. In fact, when he was governor of our fine state, he signed some law that gave caregivers the right to "pull the plug" in these cases.
Sorry to have left such heated comments steph!
Your "heated" comments are always welcome eb! :) It's good to have a safe place to voice our opinions.
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