Baby?!%&*?"+:)$$%#

Ever since the day I said I was melting...Our weather has been great! Cool and in the 70's! I love this weather and wish it would last until July!

Monday I took the kids to Toys-R-Us. It was a bicycle "survey" trip as both kids knees are hitting their chest now as they pedal their current bikes. We somehow ended up on the baby aisle. You would think I would have enjoyed that aisle being 30+ weeks prego and all, but instead this nagging anxious sensation took root and it is growing by the day. The baby section did me in!

There is so much stuff for babies! Have you ventured down the baby aisle lately? While I know that not all of it is necessary, still it is a bit daunting. I kept looking at things wondering if I had thrown my old one away, mentally making a list of who I could borrow this and that from and started the "things we will have to get" list n my head. OH MY!

I feel very unprepared for this baby. In fact I feel less prepared for this one than I did the first two. With Kolby I had her room almost done and the Q-tips and wipes in place on the changing table by now. Rob and I were taking a baby class and I was reading every baby book I could get my hands on. With Rhett I had a three year old. I didn't read too much but the nursery was ready and waiting. All my friends had little babies so we talked "baby" all the time. Fast forward four, almost five years.

There hasn't been a diaper or a bottle in this house since Rhett was two. Diaper Bag... I think I stopped carrying one of those when Rhett was 18 moths old and went for the monogramed sports themed "church bag" instead. Stroller ..two garage sales ago. Car Seats.. Besides the booster Rhett is in now, they have all surpassed their 5 year limit and are gone. High Chair...I have a great one! Rhett ripped the pad in it to shreds so I am trying to find another one that will fit. Still have a pack-n-play. Not sure about the swing. Have a bouncy loaned out to someone, or did I give it away? The cover to the exersaucer molded in the attic. Lets not even talk about the pump.

And it isn't just the stuff. I sat by my friend E at a PTA luncheon yesterday with her two month old little Ethan. He weighs 12 pounds, so he isn't tiny, but he sure seemed it! And there was so much stuff that went with him! A big old bag, an infant seat, and an upside down highchair thing. He was really good, but E still had to leave with him a few times to feed and change him etc. Friends kept saying..."Are you ready for that?" I laughed, but honestly, I don't feel ready at all!

Don't misunderstand...I am so grateful to be having this baby! She already has, is, and will be a huge blessing in our lives and I am very grateful for her! It's just that having a baby when you have an active 8.5 year old and almost 5 year old is quite different from having the first, or even the second with a toddler around. It's hard to get back to that baby mindset. AND you know how ADD I am, so having to have an elementary school, preschool and baby mindset all at the same time seems a bit... Overwhelming!

I guess I thought by the third, this baby thing would be old hat. But really is having a baby ever old hat? I wonder if people who have 5 or 6 or even more still feel the same way? I wonder if they question their abilities to be a baby Mom and a big kid Mom at the same time. Do they wonder if the poor little baby will spend her little infant-hood in a carseat on the way to T-ball practice and carpool? Do they worry that they will forget something important and miss out on some big developmental stage? Do they fear their baby will never go to MOPS or playgroup because her mom is a decade older than the other Moms? Do they have nightmares that they will leave the baby at home on accident or forget the stroller at the mall? Not to say that I worry about any of those things...

But I have to add, as overwhelming as the baby section sometimes is for me, it is fascinating for Kolby! She wants to know what everything is for and exactly what every little do-a-hickey does. She would have bought the baby aisle out the other day if I had let her. She also loves to look at diapers and baby food at the grocery store and is DIEING to start buying some. The other day she disappeared in Children's Place for a few minutes and came back with no less than 6 outfits for her little sister! If I have forgotten something about babies or lost my baby shopping zeal/smarts...Kolby might just make up for it!

Even Rhett is into the baby stuff. Although he mostly just liked popping wheelies with the display stroller someone had left in the aisles the other day, he too finds stuff he wants to buy his sister where ever we go. He says he will give the baby a bottle and play with her, but is quick to add that he will not change any diapers! :) So I guess what this baby lacks in a prepared and mentally ready Mommy, she more than makes up for in a very excited and willing older sister and brother! And Rob..he's a rock! Ready for anything. Always confident that it will all work out and be just fine. Can't imagine doing this parent thing with anyone else! :)

So even though I feel a bit overwhelmed right now, deep down I know this family and this baby are very blessed to have each other. I'm sure once she is here I will not be able to remember what life was like before her! I guess it's just all part of the ongoing Mommy journey. The road may be bumpy and steep at times but there is no other road I would rather be traveling!

Excuse the mommy ramblings today! Hope you all have a great weekend!