Dazzled

Dazzled. Two weeks ago that word took on a bit different meaning for me than it does today. Funny how a word can instantly change meanings just depending on the subject or the context around which it is used.

Do you have minute to follow me down this twisting path? It might take a while and I'm not sure where we will end up. Well, OK then. Don't say I didn't warn you... Let's go!

Webster's version:
Dazzle: intransitive verb 1: to lose clear vision especially from looking at bright light 2 a: to shine brilliantly b: to arouse admiration by an impressive display
transitive verb 1: to overpower with light 2: to impress deeply, overpower, or confound with brilliance

Me this week:
Dazzled: Past tense of dazzle. To be left dizzy, a tad breathless and slightly unbalanced in the presence of the brilliance, wonder an beauty that is Edward Cullen.
Dazzled.

Yes friends, I have been bitten by Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. And like it's heroine Bella, I'm hooked in that forever kind of way. I never intended for it to happen. Last summer I started reading Twilight twice. I was sick, the kids were home, and I never had more than 30 minutes at a time to read. So I stumbled through the first chapters and never really got into it. Though I thought it would be good and kept planning to get back to it, I didn't. AND I kept hearing/reading spoilers. People can be so careless! They are called SPOILERS for a reason people!!!! They SPOIL the experience. (swallow. sigh. move on.)

By the time I came back to the Twilight book last week, I had decided I knew so much of what would happen in the next three books that I would not bother to read them. I was going to see the movie with some friends Saturday though, so as I went to bed that fated Friday night, I picked Twilight up again. I was just planning to casually scan the 498 page book to get caught up. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. I started reading and could. not. stop!

One movie, countless conversations with friends, 2,728 pages (4 books, 1 manuscript and a half dozen on-line deleted chapters) and very, very little sleep later, I am slowly recovering from a Twilight jet lag that fogged my brain as it dominated the the last five days of my life. My short mental vacation to Forks, Washington has left me not only tired and foggy, it has left me... dazzled!

And while admittedly my current state has much to do with the fictitious Edward Cullen (who we wish was real), I'm just as taken with the author Stephenie Meyers. WOW! The fact that someone can give birth to characters and stories like these just boggles my mind! She truly has an amazing gift!

I won't give away much here (eh-hem) but I will say this story is not what I expected. I was joyously surprised. I believe they call that serendipity. I love this story, the characters, the undertones, and the lessons. I loved seeing things through the eyes of a 17 year old girl again. It's made me go back and see things back in my own 17 year old life. I loved finding such a sweet story in such a conflicted cast of characters. Again, I won't give it away, but I will say I read page 754 of the last book, Breaking Dawn, with satisfied, misty, smiling eyes!

I don't read much anymore because once I start it's hard to stop. And despite the fact that I'm basically nocturnal, even I need sleep. When I'm reading I just have to know what happens. If I am really into a story I have to read very fast so that my mind will get closure and let it go. Otherwise I pick the story apart and question the author in my mind all day long instead of intently focusing on Mom stuff. AND let's face it, Mom stuff is extremely serious business. When there are mouths to feed, nightmare monsters to fight, bo-bos to bandage, children to transport, and bunkies to wipe, (Not to mention a certain two year old in dire need of some intensive potty training!) there is no time to read. No time for distractions.

So my sudden trip to the Twilight zone cost me. My house looks like it might truly never recover. It's bad. No Christmas decorations have been put up. In fact it still looks like Halloween around here! And that mountain of laundry waiting for me will need it's own zip code soon. But I'm glad I had these days with my new friends in Forks. I needed them. We all need an escape now and then. Time away can show things that get lost in the day to day. And, I came back better.

I came away from the Twilight series reminded never to underestimate love, no matter what. Edward Cullen made me blush like a teenager and Bella made me laugh like she was my BFF. Those two even scared me silly a time or two (After 3 kids, my bladder doesn't always react to laughter or suspense as it should. TMI?) They took me in, made me one of them, and flat out dazzled me! That is what a good story does when told by a master story teller! I'm not a crazed fan. I won't camp out on Stephanie Meyers lawn begging her to write more. I don't plan a pilgrimage to the real Forks, Washington anytime soon. (Unless my little coven wants to plan a road trip, then I'm all in girls!) Seriously. I can live with nothing but my memories of the books and go on. But the story will stay with me, and like all really good stories, it has me thinking.

It is no small wonder that Jesus used stories to teach people. While his parables were easy for his listeners to understand, they were always layered with implications that went deeper than just the telling of events. There was a purpose, a core, and a rainbow of deeper meanings for his listeners to grasp. Jesus was the master story teller. Maybe growing up in Sunday school listening to the parables of Jesus and my teacher's interpretations of them is what taught me the life long habit of picking a story apart and trying to find Jesus.

Someone just read that paragraph and thought "Did she just talk about Jesus and Twilight in the same post?"

Yes. I. Did.

Stephanie Meyers is Mormon I think. Her writing is touted as moral and safe for young girls. I would go along with that except I think the passion is a bit much for girls before age 14. (Although I borrowed the last book from my 6th grade neighbor!) I'm not suggesting that the Twilight series is a Christian allegory, though I bet someone could go there if they really tried. I mention Jesus and Twilight because my life's goal is to be an allegory and the author of my story seeps Jesus into all the plots of my life. He dazzles me with his relevance and beauty. He protects me with a grace and a sacrifice I can't fathom. He bowls me over with a love I can' t ever properly describe and sees me as something far more beautiful than I am. It's a forever kind of thing. No matter what battles I need to fight HE assures me that those being loved and loving sacrificially will rule the day. Not that there is anything like that in the Twilight series. Nope. NOT AT ALL! Just me trying to find Jesus again. It's all in the conditioning you know...

Even if you don't want to read the Twilight books, you might want to join me in a little challenge I issued to myself after I read them this week. I'm going to try to look back at my 17 yer old self remembering how I saw the world, who I loved, how I loved, what I did about it. Then from the perspective of where I am now, I want to marvel over the things God has specifically done in the life of that 17 year old. Even though I'm not really very good at it, I'm going to write that story. I'm going to tell that 17 year old about the faithfulness God will show her in her life.

Name it, claim it, and get it down in physical form.

I want to write that story as my own personal witness to spur me on in the next challenge life throws my way. If you are anything like me, every story you read has a way of sticking with you, even if it is your own. Or maybe I should say especially if it is your own? I have found that to be true for me. Like a written scrapbook, the story of me reminds me of who I am, who I belong to, where I came from, and points to where I need to go.

Your story from age 17 to now may be a page long, or a chapter long or even a book length. But no matter it's length, writing your story is an exercise in recognizing the hand of God... The hand by which we are fearfully and wonderfully made. To those who don't see that hand... It's OK. Take that story and give it to the Father. Ask him the hard questions. Ask him to take the pen and work out the rest. He will.

Regardless of what we do or don't see in our story, I guess we need to mentally hand over our unfinished manuscripts to God and allow him to pen the details as only he can. Of course He already wrote the ending. Love wins and we live with him happily ever after. Hard not to be dazzled by that thought!

Dazzled: To be left feeling warm, sure and awed while completely balanced in the presence of the love, brilliance, knowledge and beauty that is our Lord and Savior. Dazzled.

Happy Thanksgiving bloggies!
May we live a life of thanks giving to Him!