Did it change you?

"Mommy, does God love the people who lost everything in the tsunami?"
Sobering question.
"Yes, Kolby he loves them very much."
"All of them?"
"All of them, every last one."
" Then why did he let them get hurt."
" ................I don't know honey. I really don't know. Sometimes bad things just happen. "
"I thought God would save them if he loved them."
"That is something that is very hard to understand even for grown ups, but I promise you God loves them."
That is a small glimpse into the talks we have had ever since I decided to stop sheltering Kolby completely from the Tsunami tragedy.

When it first happened we were traveling for Christmas so it was easy to avoid. We never watch the news with the kids around and didn't watch much of the coverage. What I did see, read, and hear broke my heart. I felt my sensitive little six year old was too young to know too much about it. We told her the tsunami was a big wave that hurt a lot of people. But about a week or so ago we had to have the "tsunami talk."

It came up in a weird way. We are planning Kolby's birthday party. My very social daughter had and invitation list a mile long that we paired it down to 24 girls and 8 boys. I told Kolby months ago that this would be a "No Gifts Please" party, not to punish her, but to try to keep her 30 + friends from wasting money on stuff we don't need. (Not to mention that there is no room in our house for 30+ more toys!) But I got to thinking, most people want to give something. So I approached Kolby about asking for donations for the tsunami victims instead of presents. I quickly realized I had sheltered her too well. Kolby didn't seem to get what the big deal was about the tsunami. ( She calls it the two-saw-me)

I tired to explain it in words she would understand, but in a way that would not terrify her and give her nightmares. We talked about what it would be like if a giant wave came and suddenly washed away our house and the houses of everyone in Hewitt. Then I asked what if she and I couldn't find Daddy or Rhett or any of our family? What if every thing we owned in the whole world was just gone? Wouldn't we want someone to help us? Wouldn't we be sad? Wouldn't we pray to God that some one, even some one we didn't know, would help us? Wouldn't God want the people who still had warm homes and plenty of everything to share?

Kolby took it to heart. It was almost an instant transformation. Not only did she want to give them all her birthday presents, she wanted to go through her toys and clothes and send them some nice things. I told her that they really just need money because the people who lost all their things need to get exactly what they want and need. She then wanted to send them her coveted Target Christmas gift card. (Like her Mama, gift cards are her favorite thing!)

Since then we have talked about the tsunami a lot. We have researched aid agencies and talked about where to send her donations. Kolby paid very close attention to the special collection we had at church for the Tsunami victims. Last week she wanted to put all her reading quarters in the jar at school for the victims because "they might need some stuff before my party."

Bless her heart! She thinks her skate party will be able to pay for everything. I think it is important for her to feel what she does and what she gives makes a difference. I think the tsunami has changed Kolby. Her eyes are more open to her blessings and other's misfortunes. I think it has changed me in the same way. Many times lately I have found myself petitioning God for something only to stop mid-prayer and say "Forget that Lord, I don't need anything. That was just totally selfish."

I think more about how to really be about the work of my Father. Sometimes I get so caught up in "just getting through the day" that I forget why I am here. I am here to live a life that glorifies God above all else. This event and Kolby's reaction to it has forced me to take a more spiritual focus and intent in my parenting and think more about the example I set for my kids.

I do not know how to answer all of Kolby's questions about the tsunami ...Or even my own, but this I know... I do not want 200,000 plus people to die in vain. I think this event should change me, change all of us. Nothing will justify this loss, but in memoriam to those who lost so much, the least I can do is try be better and love deeper. God must be glorified or it is all for loss. For all our differences the entire human race recognizes the pain and suffering of this event. I guess pain is universal. But so is love... I hope we are able to show our world love during this horrible trying time.

You can take this rhetorically or literally but the question put on my heart to ask tonight is "How has the Tsunami changed you?" I pray that all our answers together start to form a healing balm that will salve the gaping wound left in the wake of this awful, awful wave.

I know this is long and rambling. If you made it this far...Thanks for reading! :)