I AM GOING TO COPY A NOTE I ADDED TO FACEBOOK THIS MORNING ABOUT THE LAST 24 HOURS. YES, IT WAS A SHOCK FOR US AS WELL.
Ella Kate has diabetes. For some reason I can type that easier than I can say it. It's been less than 24 hours since Dr. Dewbre gave the orders for Ella Kate's blood to be drawn and blood sugars to be checked. That is the moment I somehow knew for sure that my nagging suspicion was going to be true. Before the meter said 428, I knew baby girl really had developed this disease for which there is no cure... yet. My head spins thinking of all that transpired after that to get us to where we are now, sitting in a hospital room in Cooks Children's hospital in Fort Worth, at 4:30AM. Ella Kate is what they call "stable" which I guess means she was not really showing any dramatic symptoms when we found out. For that I am very thankful. It could have been much worse. I don't know why that makes me feel better, but knowing it could be worse does seem to help calm the fears.
I once heard someone on Oprah say that intuition is the voice of God, whispering. As much as I hated and fought that little nagging voice that told me we had to get this yeast infection checked out, that there were too many things just not right with Ella Kate, that all those things were adding up to that one thing I really didn't want it to be, I'm grateful for that voice because it made finding out safer for Ella Kate and easier on us all.
People keep asking why I thought something was wrong. I will try to explain, but it was really just a nagging feeling something was really not right. Ella Kate had a yeast infection. She recently wet her bed several times for no apparent reason. She was thirsty more often than not and she was clingy, almost terrified to leave me at times, which just isn't her. That "just not herself" is what took us to the doctor yesterday. Well, that and that nagging I was trying to silence. But now, as much as I hated what it was saying, I'm very grateful for that voice.
Surprisingly, of all the emotions that have been fighting for my head and heart, gratitude is in the lead. I won't lie. Fear, pity, and anger are all vying for a close second. But for now gratitude is the clear winner. Rob and I are both so grateful for the many ways God has lessened this blow. First the prayers and support of our friends and loved ones is a blanket surrounding and shielding us. The peace I felt yesterday was just other-worldly. I know it is the result of prayer. We are equally grateful for those we know and love who have walked this road before us. Holly, Anna Kate, Morgan, Hannah and several others have all lived with this for so long. They are examples that life can and will go on and that Ella Kate will be OK, that we will all be OK eventually.
I remember so clearly how I felt watching Martha Kate and Keith start this journey when AK was less than a year old just across town at Children's in Dallas 11 years ago. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I am so grateful for their example in dealing with it. Keith told me that this would be on Rob and I, that it is up to us to carry this burden for Ella Kate and make her life as happy and normal as it can be. He is so right! And Rob and I are up for that. I needed to hear that. We will do whatever it takes to make life for Ella Kate, Kolby and Rhett as normal and active as it was before yesterday. Ella Kate doesn't need to know how serious her condition is, it will be enough to deal with all the sticks. And heaven help us their are so many needles. Poor baby girl has been stuck more times in the last 18 hours, than in her first four years of life!
But it's a small price to pay to keep Ella Kate alive and functioning, and even thriving. Yesterday Dr. Duwbre said that there is no cure for diabetes but thank God there is treatment. I'm holding on to that. I'm trying to remind myself that there are many children in this hospital right now who have conditions for which there is no cure or treatment. So again I am so grateful that there is treatment and I am praying every minute that there will soon be a cure.
But for now, I ask that you pray for Ella Kate to handle this as well as possible without loosing her spunk and zest for life. She has been one brave little princess so far! Pray that Rob and I will have the stamina, strength and means to do everything we need to do for Ella Kate. We have so much to learn before we go home... Pray that it all clicks the first time. Please pray for Kolby and Rhett... I am so torn over having to leave them when I know how big of a shock and scare this was for them yesterday! But I am grateful that we had enough time to tell them in person, to let them see and hug Ella Kate and know she is OK. Ella Kate has repeatedly asked about her Bubba and Sissy. Kolby and Rhett are both great with her. I know they are in excellent hands. Oh the prayer request and praises could go on for hours....
We are so blessed as we stand at the beginning of this unwanted but unavoidable journey.
Yesterday changed the lives of every member of our family, and it is really scary. But it didn't ruin our lives. I am grateful for that. And I am rambling.... Maybe I will catch a few Z's before the 6am blood sugar check. Thank you. Keep praying.
Ella Kate has diabetes. For some reason I can type that easier than I can say it. It's been less than 24 hours since Dr. Dewbre gave the orders for Ella Kate's blood to be drawn and blood sugars to be checked. That is the moment I somehow knew for sure that my nagging suspicion was going to be true. Before the meter said 428, I knew baby girl really had developed this disease for which there is no cure... yet. My head spins thinking of all that transpired after that to get us to where we are now, sitting in a hospital room in Cooks Children's hospital in Fort Worth, at 4:30AM. Ella Kate is what they call "stable" which I guess means she was not really showing any dramatic symptoms when we found out. For that I am very thankful. It could have been much worse. I don't know why that makes me feel better, but knowing it could be worse does seem to help calm the fears.
I once heard someone on Oprah say that intuition is the voice of God, whispering. As much as I hated and fought that little nagging voice that told me we had to get this yeast infection checked out, that there were too many things just not right with Ella Kate, that all those things were adding up to that one thing I really didn't want it to be, I'm grateful for that voice because it made finding out safer for Ella Kate and easier on us all.
People keep asking why I thought something was wrong. I will try to explain, but it was really just a nagging feeling something was really not right. Ella Kate had a yeast infection. She recently wet her bed several times for no apparent reason. She was thirsty more often than not and she was clingy, almost terrified to leave me at times, which just isn't her. That "just not herself" is what took us to the doctor yesterday. Well, that and that nagging I was trying to silence. But now, as much as I hated what it was saying, I'm very grateful for that voice.
Surprisingly, of all the emotions that have been fighting for my head and heart, gratitude is in the lead. I won't lie. Fear, pity, and anger are all vying for a close second. But for now gratitude is the clear winner. Rob and I are both so grateful for the many ways God has lessened this blow. First the prayers and support of our friends and loved ones is a blanket surrounding and shielding us. The peace I felt yesterday was just other-worldly. I know it is the result of prayer. We are equally grateful for those we know and love who have walked this road before us. Holly, Anna Kate, Morgan, Hannah and several others have all lived with this for so long. They are examples that life can and will go on and that Ella Kate will be OK, that we will all be OK eventually.
I remember so clearly how I felt watching Martha Kate and Keith start this journey when AK was less than a year old just across town at Children's in Dallas 11 years ago. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I am so grateful for their example in dealing with it. Keith told me that this would be on Rob and I, that it is up to us to carry this burden for Ella Kate and make her life as happy and normal as it can be. He is so right! And Rob and I are up for that. I needed to hear that. We will do whatever it takes to make life for Ella Kate, Kolby and Rhett as normal and active as it was before yesterday. Ella Kate doesn't need to know how serious her condition is, it will be enough to deal with all the sticks. And heaven help us their are so many needles. Poor baby girl has been stuck more times in the last 18 hours, than in her first four years of life!
But it's a small price to pay to keep Ella Kate alive and functioning, and even thriving. Yesterday Dr. Duwbre said that there is no cure for diabetes but thank God there is treatment. I'm holding on to that. I'm trying to remind myself that there are many children in this hospital right now who have conditions for which there is no cure or treatment. So again I am so grateful that there is treatment and I am praying every minute that there will soon be a cure.
But for now, I ask that you pray for Ella Kate to handle this as well as possible without loosing her spunk and zest for life. She has been one brave little princess so far! Pray that Rob and I will have the stamina, strength and means to do everything we need to do for Ella Kate. We have so much to learn before we go home... Pray that it all clicks the first time. Please pray for Kolby and Rhett... I am so torn over having to leave them when I know how big of a shock and scare this was for them yesterday! But I am grateful that we had enough time to tell them in person, to let them see and hug Ella Kate and know she is OK. Ella Kate has repeatedly asked about her Bubba and Sissy. Kolby and Rhett are both great with her. I know they are in excellent hands. Oh the prayer request and praises could go on for hours....
We are so blessed as we stand at the beginning of this unwanted but unavoidable journey.
Yesterday changed the lives of every member of our family, and it is really scary. But it didn't ruin our lives. I am grateful for that. And I am rambling.... Maybe I will catch a few Z's before the 6am blood sugar check. Thank you. Keep praying.
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2 comments:
Thoughts and prayers are with you guys as you head down this road. I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes earlier this summer and am really starting to get a handle on the life changes. I know it will be challenging, but you can do it for her.
That is scary, but something you guys will handle and make part of your life without even realizing it. I will certainly keep you all in my prayers.
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