Nana

Excuse the long post. I am writing it to tell my kids about their Nana Ruth.

Today my Nana Ruth is 95 years old. It is hard to imagine how much the world has changed since her birth in 1909. Airplanes, automobiles, computers, dishwashers, microwaves, VCRs, cam-corders, records, 8 tracks, cassettes, cds WOW! As I visit with her in the very nice alzheimers unit a few miles from our house, it is equally hard to imagine that the agitated, anxious, woman who constantly looks for loved ones from her past is my grandmother. This is not the spunky Nana of my youth.

Nana Ruth was the life of the party. Unlike most girls of her day, she did not marry until she was 31. She was a working girl who lived with her parents, liked to hunt, drive, and take a "sip" now and then. She was also an incredibly sharp dresser who had a great little hat for every outfit. My Grandaddy was the only guy who could handle her. They met at church. A year later she agreed to their first date. It was two years before they decided to settle down and get married. My great grand-dad still thought she was too young. My Nana was something else.

One of my favorite memories was walking into the entry hall of my grandparents fully restored, 100 year old home in Coleman, Texas and seeing her dance towards us with a three layer, perfectly iced, chocolate Italian cream cake singing "I knew you were coming so I baked a cake, I baked a cake, I baked a cake!" Who wouldn't love a reception like that? That was my Nana.

She made the best fried chicken, roast, fried okra, mashed potatoes, chocolate pudding, sheet cake and all kinds of candy. She could play the piano and had the sweetest alto voice. My Nana could sew and landscape. I loved shopping with her because mid-way through, we always stopped to get a "Coke" and visit.

My grandmother knew much about the lost art of visiting. In the summers, I would stay at her house for a week or so by myself. I remember going to sleep to the sound of my grandparents visiting with friends on the front porch, and waking to the sound of Nana visiting with a neighbor over coffee on the back porch. What ever happened to visiting on porches?

Nana always got up and "put on her face". She would wear a "housecoat" most of the morning doing chores and cooking. At noon we always ate lunch by the "television" (not the TV) and watched "the story"(Days of Our Lives). She would snooze a bit if the Salem crew was having a dull day. I remember playing in the empty chairs of the Beauty shop "Tommy's Beauty Curl" where she went every week to get her hair "done." After I told her I wished I had curly hair about a hundred times during a visit , she marched me down to The Beauty Curl for a perm. It burned my head and made my eyes water, but oh what curl I had! It was like a white-fro. I remember my Nana was a little alarmed when she saw how well the perm "took". The next day she marched me back to have it "taken out". It is a wonder I had hair at all after that visit!

Nana had a temper too! Once when my cousin Amber was watching Nana make a layer cake for her Bridge Club, one of the layers broke but she salvaged it for the bottom. The second layer also broke badly. Then when the third layer came completely apart, Nana said the "D" word and threw the pan across the kitchen hitting the phone and knocking it off the wall. Amber, age three, ran to Grand daddy and whispered "I'm Scared." From that day on we called a chocolate layer cake a "Beep" cake.

My Nana had six grandchildren. I was the oldest and the only one she ever spanked! I liked to kid her about that. She said several times she regretted it, but I know I deserved it! My Nana almost had heart failure when at age 20 I told her I was going to Africa for eight weeks. But through her tears, she asked if I needed any money. She did not like the thought of me going over there. Her generation was extremely guarded about people who were different, and that is putting it as nicely as I can.

Nana at 93

My Nana also came up with a generation who constantly sought, but was never assured, salvation. At 95, she may not know who I am or who her brother is, but don't ever tell her that any one has "gone to heaven" for she'll argue "You can't be sure of that." She has no clue what she did 30 seconds before, but she is quick to quote the " Narrow is the way" scripture. Of all the things to hold on to! Even though she is miserable and agitated all the time, she is so scared to die. She just isn't sure she will make the cut. Someday I pray my sweet Nana will close her eyes and wake in the arms of Jesus. She will be in such shock!

It may seem wrong, but I pray daily, as I have for the last five years, that that day will come soon. Nana is so unhappy. There is nothing any of us can do to help her. She is in the best facility money can buy. She has a sitter, whom she loves, who comes to be with her when my Mom and Aunt can't be there. She lives in the same town as her two daughters, and six grandchildren, and six great-grandchildren. Nothing seems to ease the hold this dreaded disease has over her brain. It is heart breaking for my Mom and Aunt to see their mother this way. It is heart breaking for all of us.

We don't visit as we should. It is so hard for she constantly asks where her husband, parents, and friends are. She cries when we finally brake down and tell her they have passed. She follows us out as we leave and bangs her head on the door crying when we don't take her with us. Sometimes I feel it is best to just stay away. She seems less tormented when we are not around. I guess we trigger too many memories. But today we will brave the storm to take her a cake, coke, and flowers and try to visit. I pray we see a little glimpse of the woman we love.

I'm making her a layer cake....and it stuck in the pan!!! I have to laugh and think "Now what would Nana have done in a situation like this?"

You know, throwing a pan full of cake is oddly empowering!