Circle of Life

I've done it again! Dived full force into a "project". I do this. This time it is the Teacher Appreciation Luncheon at Kolby's school. It's tomorrow. It's a big deal in our little world.

Every year the PTA gets parents to watch the classes and man the office (45 volunteers for this) from 11 - 1. We bus the entire staff to the fellowship hall of a near by church and have a fun themed luncheon. Last year it was the "Survivor" theme. Everyone wore Camo. We constructed a tiki hut, had torches every where and had challenges to win door prizes. It's decorated as extravegently as a prom. The teachers take pictures and talk about it all year. It is a highlight to be sure. I was just a worker last year. This year I am in charge. Scary.

I picked the theme "It's good to be Queen" (there are no male staff members at this school) The last two week have been very full. One other mother and I have made two 10 foot white castles outlined in twinkle lights and painted with iridescent glitter. We made a 7 foot gold crown complete with glitter and twinkle lights to hang over the podium. We made ten 26inch 3-D castles for table centerpieces. We made a six foot queen with a hole for them to sick their faces in a have pictures made. We have had to make everything as we have a small budget. The favors are 4 inch glass (plastic) slippers tied with a thick gold organza bow and stuffed with little white butter mints. We also have crowns, rings and sceptors(actually gold hologram pencils with toppers and bows) for all.

And there are games. We are going to have each table write their own fairy tale from a list of words we give them. We are going and have a Queen Kareoke Contest with songs like "Someday my prince will come" and "Playing with Queen of hearts". We have collected 40 door prizes each valued at around $20. There is much much more. It's completely over the top.

But, I love to do this type of thing. I thrive on it! I get so totally immersed and obsessed that I neglect other things. My house is a mess. My dining room table is project central. The dining room is full of castles, poster board, tulle, and organza ribbon. If I could pick a career besides motherhood, it would be event coordination. That is why I loved teaching. It's just one big themed unit after another. I love a theme!

But the last three nights I have made dinner for my family and disappeared to school until midnight. I'm tired when I get up and my days are full of trying to get the basics done for my family while running to and fro trying to get all I need for the luncheon. No one has complained. Rob is a prince and has come to understand that this is my pattern. The kids seem to understand too. But part of me feels bad. I think I have a balance problem. With me it is all or nothing. My house is a total wreck or sparkling clean. Extremes. For me, living to extremes means a cycle that teeters between passion and burn out.

I have to confess that sometimes I feel like I have cyclical.relationship with God. I'm either completely focused, in the word and prayerful, or I feel distant, detached, and undisciplined in my walk. Times of a happy medium are few and far between.

When I was in fifth grade, my Sunday school teacher had a big circlular chart that showed the cycle that the children in Israel developed as they roamed the dessert after leaving Egypt. They were close to God, things were good, they got arrogant, strayed from God, hit hard times, repented, prayed for Salvation, God saved them and the cycle started over. In ways I see myself on the same cycle, going from one side of the circle to the other.

If this circular cycle has been a pattern of the children of God since roaming in the dessert, do we ever break the cycle? I'm sure this illustration will only go so far. It may not be the best way to explain where I feel I am with my walk. But for lack of a better illustration, imagine the circle. I guess we spiral up, becoming closer to God and the circumference of our circle decreases. The extremes are lessened because as the circles shrink, we are always closer to God, even in the hard, arrogant times. The way back to God is also much shorter. Does this make sense to anyone else in the universe? I guess my brain has been "royally" fried...

sorry for the randomness of this post. I will be praying for a tighter circle! Blessing to you blog family...and may all of your circles be small!