Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Life goes on...

Last night Kolby was excited to watch the election returns. Even though I tried to hide it, I was not. I thought about not turning on the TV at all, but it was actually Kolby's homework to watch returns and fill out a red/blue states map. So we tuned in around 8PM.

You may or may not know that I have worked hard not to be too political during this election. That is very unlike me, but I just felt that I personally needed to listen more than talk this time around. So we have not talked about the election a whole lot in our house. I did however take Kolby with me to vote last week. I wanted her to see how it all works and to know that you can still be a good, responsible American with out being a "loud, sign in your yard, recruiting people for your guy" American. Everyone just gets one vote no matter how much noise they make or don't make.

Anyway, even though we haven't shouted it from the rooftops, Kolby knows that Rob and I voted for McCain. In her 5th grade mind that meant McCain was our guy and he just had to win or we would loose. She was not so quiet in her support of McCain. She is so my daughter!

Last night after Ohio and Pennsylvania went blue, I tried to calmly explain to Kolby that there was very little hope for McCain to win and she should go to bed. (The electoral college makes a close race seem like a land slide doesn't it?) She was distraught, and almost fearful at the thought of Obama winning. I was a bit annoyed at first thinking she was just trying to stay up later. But when I saw that she was really sad and almost sacred, I asked her why she was sure Obama was so bad. Kolby started telling me all the things that "kids at school" said about Obama and why McCain just could not loose.
"It will ruin America forever" she said.
"Ruin America forever? " I asked.
Somehow that sounded worse coming out of the mouth of a scared 10 year old.
Again you can be sure that DID NOT COME FROM US, not this year anyway! :)

Turns out some kids at Kolby's school have some strong opinions about this race. The 5th graders she talked to had built quite a rap sheet for Mr. Obama. "He is going to change the pledge of allegiance and make us go to school 7 days a week. He will take all the money people who work hard make and split it with the people who don't work at all. He prays to a different God and is related to Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Husein.
"He's going to ruin our whole country and we will all have to move," she said matter-of-factly while mentioning something about Obama secretly hating America and being a spy for the "muz-lims."
WOW!
I had no idea she was harboring those thoughts. Surly, no adult would say things like that around a child. Surly all this was just the invention of creative 10 and 11 year olds wanting their guy to win... But no matter. None of it seemed very innocent or funny when I saw that there was true fear and maybe a shred of hate in my daughter's eyes.

So I did what we mothers do when we see that there is an imaginary monster in the dark scaring our kids. I swallowed my (Republican) pride and set about shining the spotlight of reality on the Obama Monster threatening to ruin her world.

First I talked. I talked about how both candidates were good men who want what they each truly feel is best for America. I said that though their ideas greatly differ, and while I am very sad that McCain will never get to be President, both he and Obama are good men and good Americans who also claim Christianity. Even though Obama was "the opponent" in this race, he is is not our "enemy." (Why is it so hard to think that our opponent is our friend?)

Honestly, I was itching to point out that McCain had the class and guts to graciously concede when the writing was on the wall, unlike Kerry in the last election, and that McCain was running against a whole lot more than just Obama, (insert Oprah, Hollywood's not necessarily accurate portrait of the state of our union, a culture that takes the easy way out and blames Bush for everything from the strength of the levys in New Orleans, to a housing crisis that in part is a result of faulty lending practices that began under Carter, foreign influences, and an economy that crumbled under a Democratic majority in charge of the purse strings, etc.) but I held my tongue.
Hate begets hate.
Love begets love.
When you look into the eyes of a ten year old, that seems so much clearer.

At the last minute I decided to let Kolby get back up (she was not yet asleep) and watch some of the speeches. Sadly, I decided that mid-way through McCain's speech. But I think it helped her to see McCain say good things about Obama. She was surprised to learn that the Obama's have two daughters the same age as Rhett and her. And she was dismayed at hearing Obama say nice things about McCain. "I thought they just hated each other."
Well of course she thinks that.
What else could she think after all that has been said in the last year?
I'm not sure my words or seeing the speeches for herself taught Kolby all that I hoped, but for me it boils down to this...

Like it or not, last night was historical for these United States. Barack Obama's win was a moment in our history that will be talked about and recorded in text books from this point on. I didn't want my daughter to remember it as the night we were defeated and scared. I didn't want her to remember unkind words and fretting.
I want Kolby to remember the graciousness of John McCain's and Barack Obama's speech. (Now that he is going to be President, do you think spell checker will recognize his name? :)
I want her to recall from her own memory the night that our America finally bucked the racial stigma associated with her since the days of slavery.
I want her to remember that even though her Mom and Dad voted for the someone else, they still love America and support and hope the best for all of her leaders.
I want Kolby to remember that she got to stay up way past her bedtime because her parents wanted her to have her own memories of a historic night. (It was rough this morning, but 10 years from now I think we will be glad we made that call!)

But more than the historical and political lessons, I wanted Kolby to witness her parents not giving up hope because our hope does not rest on the shoulders of elected leaders. Our hope comes from a risen Savior who remains on the throne no matter who lives in the White House.

As late as it was, I wanted Kolby to go to bed feeling secure in the faith that God will never leave her no matter who rules the land. She has a choice when it comes to how she lets the outcome of this election color her world. We all do.

I had little time to reflect on any of this though as Rhett (who went to bed much earlier) woke up puking around mid-night. Until I collapsed in bed some early hour this morning, I helped Rhett "hit the cup" and cleaned up what didn't. What a long and crazy night!

But it just goes to show, life goes on. Whether a Democrat or a Republican wins, there is puke to catch, kids to take care of and a God who promises to give us the strength and endurance to see the beauty in it all.

Happy Wednesday bloggies!

16 comments:

Meredith said...

Oh Stephanie, great post! We had the exact conversation this morning with Cassidy and Cooper. As much as I do not agree with his policies, he is our new president and my hope is that something good will come from it.

"But more than the historical and political lessons, I wanted Kolby to witness her parents not giving up hope because our hope does not rest on the shoulders of elected leaders. Our hope comes from a risen Savior who remains on the throne no matter who lives in the White House."--- Amen!

elizabeth said...

I had to comfort a crying Matthew this morning. I told him that God was in control and that we lived through 8 years of Clinton. Then, he burst into tears again and said, "But I only lived through one of those years!"

I remember how bitter liberals were at the results of the last two elections, and am taking the high road this election. Sometimes, its just better to keep it all inside!

Beaner said...

I voted Obama. My kids had a different experience yesterday, although I had to explain to Nick that Obama is NOT a "baby killer" as some of his friends told him. I was more excited that Nick was excited in the political process with his Electoral Map & red & blue markers.

I thought BOTH candidates showed a lot of class last night & I hope BOTH will be involved with the process to help unite our country. Win or lose, we need to pray that our President can & will do great things for our country and for the rest of the world.

Donna said...

Wonderful post. I'm praying that more folks will take these ideas to heart. It's not a doom and gloom situation...God is in control and our hope is (should be) in our risen Saviour!
Blessings to you!

Linda said...

Thank you for your comments and the way you taught your daughter not to be fearful. It is a bitter pill to swallow having someone like Obama to be our president, but God prevails and I pray that He will soften hearts and draw Mr. Obama closer to Him. Beth Moore's blog puts it all into perspective. Everyone should read it.

mom23 said...

Well, I voted for Obama, but that doesn't matter. I am so proud of you for your graciousness and spirit of Christ being present first and foremost in your mothering, words, message, and attitude.

Nellie said...

Wonderful post, Stephanie! It was hard to accept defeat, even for the adults. But what you did with Kolby is what we all need to do with each other. Graciousness is a word I've heard and used myself in describing both of the speeches given on election night. Root word: GRACE. What a gift from our God and Savior. May he grace us all with a spirit of unity in our churches, our country and our families.

Hope Rhett is feeling better and you don't have a week of "the bug" at your house!

Darren Duvall said...

We told our kids to avoid political conversations at school, because quite frankly, nobody is interested in the political opinions of six, nine and ten year-olds (well, maybe ACORN, but enough of that).

We told them that, if asked, they could allow that they supported McCain, and if pressed as to why, they could succinctly respond, "Because I'm not a socialist."

And yes, we did explain what socialism meant.

There was no great sorrow when McCain did not win. They're not overly concerned with who the President is at this point, and about the time it really begins to matter to them, there will be another one.

Meanwhile, their shooting lessons continue...

Susan - said...

The boths both had very strong opinions about this election. They've know all along who we liked, but we had really not talked about issues with the,, so it was a surprise to hear them spouting information that they had learned at school. Jonathan was especially upset Tuesday night.

They held a mock election at school with real voting machines. Even the Kindergarteners had strong opinions.

Anonymous said...

That school sure had more talk than I realized! Alyssa told me that the kids said that Obama would add 6 more weeks to the school year and take all the rich people's money and give it to the poor. I asked her if she believed that - she said no. I asked why not and she said because it was the same kids who always made stuff up!!
My kids did not know who we voted for because I told them one of the good things about America was a secret ballot. I wanted them to know they didn't have to discuss it with anyone.
Carrie

Deana Nall said...

What a great post! Julia's classmates told her that "Obama bombed a white church." Those kids really believed that! Craziness.

I was blown away by Tues. night. It was all I could do to keep from dragging my kids out of bed so they could see it. Obama's historic win, the celebration from people who had gathered in MLK's old church, both candidates' amazing speeches -- I still get chills thinking about it.

SG said...

Carrie,
I still find it hard to believe that Kolby believed some of that stuff but she really did think it was the worst thing ever for America and that we would have to give half our money away. Sadly I think she heard those things from adults. Kolby tends to take things so personally(like her Mama didat that age)and just worries about it. What a road we have before us!

I had a friend say her daughter was truly worried because she heard and believed Obama would make all kids wear uniforms everyday. Where do they get this stuff? :)
But sadly, I know some adults who said a lot worse. That's what has made me not want to "talk politics" at all. It just gets so ugly, so fast with an"end justifies the means" attitude. No end justifies some of the means both parties go to. SO glad it is over for a while!

elizabeth said...

Matthew also came home yesterday saying that Obama was going to make the school week 6 days. Where did that one come from? ;)

Amy S. Grant said...

I supported Obama and love your post. I have been surprised by the amount of irrational hatred I have witnessed this election. I guess our kids aren't immune. I pray those of us who follow Jesus model his love the way you did with Kolby that night.

I woke up my kiddos on Wednesday with, "Obama won!" They all said "Cool!" and went about their day. I think they have missed out on some of the significance!!

Donna G said...

I know there are good people like Amy and Beaner that this will not apply to, but the biggest difference will be that the conservatives will accept and embrace Obama as our president even though we did not think he was the best choice. The Dems as a whole never gave W any respect. That my friends is just wrong.

SG said...

I have thought the same thing DJG. Of course I live in the heart of BUSH country so I don't hear the things the rest of the world does. HOWEVER I have noticed my friends who have trashed Bush for 8 years without stop were quick to take offense when not everyone was so happy about Obama's win.

I am starting to think that the President does not have half the power we assume. Four years ago I thought Bush and a Republican Congress would be able to make some real changes. Turns out it is a huge accomplishment just to keep these United States going let alone make a CHANGE. I fear the dems will son be reminded of that. But Obama has the loud support of the press and Hollywood that Bush never had. Couple that with the fact that those who generally support Republicans seem to take defeat with a bit more grace and Obama already has an upper hand. I truly hope he is able to serve our country in a positive way! But I take comfort in the fact that our hope is in God, not the US President. :)