Saturday, January 23, 2010


For the last almost 4 years there has been unfinished business in my community. In the last two weeks, that business has been taken care of FINALLY. Over the years I have cried many tears and spent many, many hours wondering, debating and brainstorming the  hows and whys of this case while praying that God would give proof of what we already knew in our hearts.  I, the person who cannot stand bumper stickers at all, have had a blue Justice For Kari sticker on both of our cars, and can't bring myself to reove them. I have blogged, visited true crime blogs, commented, battled mean comments, talked for hours about the details and prayed, and prayed, and prayed some more.  As strange as it sounds, I have seen and felt God's hands throughout this case.  I have gained friends and discovered heroes. My faith in the justice system was sorely tested, then soulfully reaffirmed.  It has been a long journey, even for a virtual bystander like me. To think of the toll this has taken on Kari's best friends and family... I just cannot imagine. BUT Kari's parents are AMAZING people of faith.  I am embedding the last  few minutes of the trial video below because I want anyone who cares to be inspired to get to watch what Linda Dulin says to her former son-in-law. It brings me to tears, makes me want to stand and cheer, and just humbles me that God is so good.  So if you have some kleenex ready, take a peak. Warning though, it will stick with you for a while.

Linda starts at 7.50 minutes in and talks for about 6 minutes. As I said, she is just amazing because her God is amazing!


If you can not see the video, this is what she said:

I am talking to you Matt today. Ok? You have not looked at me in almost four years. Can you look at me today for a little while? OK?

We were so blessed to have Kari in our lives for 31 years. And how she loved us. She loved her brother, me, her father, her extended family, and Matt, Matt SHE LOVED YOU. But more than anything she loved her girls. Her love for Kensi, Kassidy and Grace was engraved on her soul, on her soul. And then you took her from us Matt. You discarded her like she was yesterday’s trash.

You murdered the mother of your children and I still can’t wrap my head or my heart around this. And you left so many other victims. The people in your churches who want to believe that the, the person leading them truly is a man of God. Your family, your, your family Matt, your friends, the people who believed in you… You really can’t look at me, can you?

But the most tragic victims Matt, the most tragic victims are Kensi and Grace, those sweet, sweet babies. You took their mother and then you fed them lies Matt. You fed them lies and then you erased her from their lives. But thank goodness this journey doesn’t end here because this isn’t going to be about heartache. You see Matt you were never going to win this one. You’ve spent your life manipulating and preying on innocent people. But love trumps evil. Do you hear me? Love trumps evil.

And we have God’s promises to lead us through this and remind us that he is bigger than any crime you committed, even murdering our precious child. And Kari’s faith has put her smack dab in the middle of paradise. And we are going to spend eternity with her. And you can separate us for this short time, but I already know what it is going to be like when I see her again. And she is going to come running towards me and she is going to jump in my arms and knock me over and just smother me with kisses and that’s… I can wait for that. And just as Kari’s faith has assured where she is right now, our faith has sustained us. And you see, God’s told us he will never forsake us, and he hasn’t. We have felt his arms around us through out this entire ordeal and no act in this world can take our joy. We still have that Matt. You did not rob us. We have had family and friends and strangers walking with us and we are so very blessed. We are blessed.

So what do we do now? Well first, we thank God for bringing us here to this place, and for this jury. Thank you so much. But next Jim and I commit our lives to Kensi and Grace. To helping them heal. To giving them back their childhood and their joy. We can’t give them back their mother, but we want more than anything else in this world for them to be whole and healthy. You poisoned them and you taught them to hate. But it won’t last. It won’t last. But in order to give them back their love, in order to give them back their joy, then we have to extend that same grace that has been extended to us.

You have to spend many years in prison. What you did was horrific. It was horrific Matt. And I believe you are capable of much more evil.

However in order to heal, in order to point the way for our own granddaughters, in order to show God how grateful we are then we have to step out and forgive. So we do. We forgive, because that’s the only way Matt. The only way that love that makes the way, so that eventually, eventually just as in this case.. LOVE TRUMPS EVIL. That’s all.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Matt Baker Murder Trial

If I start talking about this it might be June before I'm able to stop. So I'm going to try to keep it short...or shortish. 

The trial started this week. On our TV it is on channel 132. You can watch it live on The Waco Trib has a reporter there giving updates every 10 to 15 minutes on their news blog... bless her heart. 

The last two days, I have accomplished next to nothing because I have been glued to this trial. But thank goodness for DVRs and minute to minute news blogs, I'm trying to go about my day just checking in from time to time.

Just the fact that this case being tried is a bit of a victory. There were those who said that this case would never see trial. Not enough evidence, too much time had passed, no proof.  Luckily there are enough people in the world who still believe in doing what is good and right no matter what the odds or predictions say!  Now Matt Baker is being tried in front of a  jury of 12 people who will listen to all they are allowed to hear and make a judgment that will decide his fate, and all the fates that were tangled up together with Kari's death. 

I said this was a victory...but to me it doesn't feel that way because it is such a tragic case. I have spoken about this so many times before on this blog. I have had a link to my friend Shanon's blog that is devoted to the case over there to the right for about two years or more. If you have been here long, or know me at all, you most likely know how I feel about this case.

Still I can not capture with words the dulling pain I feel watching this trial unfold. I don't feel anger or indignation anymore when I see Matt Baker. I just feel a deep sad. Sad that Matt took Kari away from her family. Sad that he has hurt those girls by taking away their mother and trashing their memories of her. Sad for Kari's parents who I have come to love and truly admire over the years. Sad for the many family members and friends that will always feel a ting of totally irrational but unshakable guilt for not saying ____ or doing ____ even though it would have been a crazy thing to do or say at the time... The "if onlys" are so overwhelming in this case!!!

I find myself wondering how Matt Baker ticks. How can a man with a masters in divinity from Truett Seminary lie, cheat, harm and just live like he has?  How did the devil get such control of over him? Is there a soul so dark that God can't get to them? I want to say no, but thinking about Matt Baker.... All I know is that the truth will set everyone free... free to heal anyway. I've been praying for him to just confess for years. I'm sorta naive that way.

So this trial is what is taking my mind this week, not to mention a HUGE percentage of my prayers!

Please pray for this trial to end with a clear verdict of truth and for the families involved to be set free to heal.

Back blogs about this:
Expressing myself on Shanon's blog:

Friday, January 01, 2010

Happy New Year

Happy New Year from our little family to you!