For too long I put off my urge to blog about this. I just can't hold it any longer, I've got to let loose, and let it flow... RHETT DOES NOT GET POTTY TRAINING!!!
Here is the deal. Kolby was potty trained at 2 1/2 by her patient teachers and peers at preschool. I didn't have to do much. One day she wanted to wear pull-ups to school like her friends (she was the youngest in her class). Two weeks later she had graduated to big girl panties. Except for the occasional hiding in the closet to poop(yes, she did and, no, we don't know why), it was an easy process. Painless. Clean. And after I accidentally flushed a pair of her new Winnie the Pooh panties down the toilet after a poop closet incident, we didn't have those incidents anymore. (accidental parenting success, very rare but much appreciated.) By three Kolby was diaper free completely.
Rhett turned three last month and is FAR,FAR, AWAY from being diaper free. We started talking about the potty around age two. My Mom bought him a special potty at two and a half. I bought all the potty videos. We sing all the potty songs. ( "Now I'm going to the Poootty potty!" is a household top ten!) We have tried sticker charts, skittles, M&M's, ten times in a row for a new Thomas, "all the other kids are doing it", targets (girls don't get this), and just putting him in underoo's and letting the chips fall where they may. (They fell on my off-white carpet!) None of this has really worked. Rhett does it for a time or two and then decides he likes diapers better. We have tried to be subtle in our attempts, awarding success and ignoring failure. But he is three for crying out loud!
Yesterday I found myself saying "Rhett don't those soggy diapers feel yucky?"
"Nope"
" What about that stinky poop, wouldn't you rather put it in the potty?"
"Nope"
He could care less really.
Last night I pondered this scatological* problem. Since it's my blog, and you've read this far, here's what I came up with...(Feel free to add any suggestions or your own observations.)
1. Walking around with sloshey dirty pants doesn't bother Rhett because that is all he has ever known. For three years he has worn diapers. He is used to the soggy feel and pungent smells. Why would it bother him now? It's all he knows.
2. When you have been potty trained for 32 years, it is really hard to relate to someone who isn't. To me, his whole potty thing seems relatively simple. I am right and he needs to get with the program. It takes a concentrated effort for me to relate to my un-trained son. BUT telling Rhett that his poop stinks and berating him for going in his diaper will only alienate and insult him. He will not be any closer to being potty trained. To reach the goal I have to help him decide it's worth it.
3. I can not make Rhett go to the potty. I can bribe, instruct, applaud and aid, but I can not do it for him. Wish I could, but it is one of those learning things that involves free will. My job is to introduce him to the concept, and move heaven and earth to help him "hold it and go potty" until he gets it. Once he gets it, he has to do the rest Then my job is to be an enabler (it isn't a negative thing when your are enabling good), an encourager and an example.
I concluded that as long as he can change his own pull-up by Kindergarten, he'll probably be OK. He is the oldest in his class. Soon peer pressure will be on my side. (another thing that can be positve) He will probably get it the minute I give up.
Aside from my parental conclusions about Rhett, I'm sure you see the comparisons that could be drawn here between Potty Training and church.
1. The lost of this world can not always fathom God. A redeemerless life may be all they know. They may have to see God in someone else to realize what they are missing.
2. When you grow up in a churched atmosphere, it may take a strong concentrated effort to relate to those who didn't. Salvation may seem like a no brainer, but it is not a concept we naturally accept. Telling some one their sin is awful and berating them for not knowing God will only alienate and insult and bring them no closer to the Father.
3 And the last, Jesus saves souls, we do not. It is our job to introduce them to the Savior, move heaven and earth to show them His love, and to encourage, enable and set an example. But they have to make the decision. That stinking free will again!
God says he makes his ways known. My children have taught me more about grace, joy and God than any encounter of my post-teen life. How patient God must be with us! His love and loyalty are just baffling.
Potty talking about God. Never know what to expect on this blog !
Blessing!
*Yes, I learned this word on the boone box.
four things | seven
12 hours ago
Posts
8 comments:
I can' really identify w/ you from a mother's prospective, but I cartainly can from a teacher's. I taught the 2 year olds in a pre-scool for way too long. The one and only goal for getting to move on to the three year old class was, you guesdded it, being potty trained. I helped to "train" 18 little precious, snotty nosed, hug giving, gummy bear wanting children. (And also learned to change their diapers while they were standing up... that's so much easier than having them lie down, and much quicker and sanitary too... 18 diapers in 25 minutes ~ woo hoo!)
The big difference I noticed b/t the girls and boys was an internal motivation factor. Pretty panties, new shoes and more positive attention from grown ups v/s having to leave whatever cool toy you're playing with to go to the potty. I talked w/ my hubby about it and he said it's just a man's mentality ~ you only do what you absolutely have to to function. Dirt, feces and urine are all ok, b/c the other boys don't care about being clean and/or stinky and the girls just don't matter. I've since learned to apply his theory to many different aspects of his personality "ticks" ~ I think he' right! We had one child who refused to p.t. his mom was so funny about it, but evenutally, he got it (at 3 1/2, granted we had some that hadn't yet turned 2 that seemed to always be encouraging him along as well). My advice is to just keep on keepin' on and try to keep a boy's frame of mind about the whole situation. (Have you tried Cheerios as targets?)
Since this is the longest comment I've made, I'll just say, "Fantastic ananlogy on p.t. and church." :)
I am right with you on the whole potty training thing!!!! My daughter is 3 1/2 & she's in Preschool, but she refuses to poop on the potty. She will be sitting on the potty, pee, then get up & get herself a Pullup, change herself & go into the Playroom to poop. Her willful defiance is so....planned out!!!! It's driving me nuts! We've tried all you've done & more. The advice I've been given is to just let go of it & let them decide when they're ready, but I can't give up MY control over her. It's like I'm giving in & she's winning. Why does my daughter have to be so much like....me! And thanks for bringing the poop into a spiritual realm - I guess you really can see God in everything! ;-)
A word of comfort -- I guarantee you that when Rhett turns 18 he will be potty-trained! (And probably when he turns 4, if not sooner.)
Boys take longer. I think Joey was about 3 1/2. Just keep trying, and keep cleaning. Ugh. I know it's not fun. But this too shall pass. (Get it? Pass?)
I love the spiritual analogy (of course I would) and I thought of something to add. Just like church we can't get people to go by rewarding them, then they expect a reward or favor everytime they go. And they can't go to please you, then they will demand praise or thanks and when your not around its back to the same old poop!
On a lighter note, I tried the Potty Training in One Day book with my son. That was a hysterical experience. I threw the book away and waited until he was ready, pretty clsoe to 3... hang in there.
Amazing the analogies you can make, but that was good. Remember boys are just different than girls. I thought my boys would NEVER get it, but they did. And they were both over 3 when they finally did. Relax, Rhett will get it too.
Hi! I wish you luck on your potty training. I see, from your writing, that you are a dedicated mother and so that I know that your child will learn soon and in a healthy way.
With all my respect, I don't believe that "salvation" is near church or whatever. I found your comments very intolerable, specially calling "stinky" to the free will that I consider a blessing.
Salvation or compasion it's in the hearts of every human being, and the attitudes that you, cristian or catolics, assume for centuries have killed a lot of people.
As a Wicca, I respect your opinnions or points of view but I disagree in your narrowness of diversity.
Have a nice day,
Karla
P.D. My natural lenguage is not english, so i'm sorry if my grammar is no good.
Dear brujis~
I am glad you stopped by my blog. If you read my post today you will know that I greatly admire anyone who attempts English as a second language. I would have commented on your blog but, even after two years of spanish class, I can not escribo en Espanol to easily.
Please understand that when I said "stinking free will" I meant it as a joke. I too feel that free will is an incredible gift and a blessing. Like many of my jokes, I guess that one wasn't too great.
Wicca basically worships the earth and nature, right?
Christians worship the Creator of nature and the Earth. We believe one God created everything and that he sent his son Jesus to Earth. Jesus sacrificed his life to give us all the salvation and eternal life in heaven that we could never earn. I believe Jesus to be the son of God. I believe Jesus when he said "No one comes to the Father except through me." I also believe God said he would make himself known to al the Earth through nature. I hope through nature, or some other means, you come to know Him. All are welcome.
Please feel free to stop by and coment anytime.
We had the Now I'm Going To The Potty Potty video to. I can't say it helped that much but it is a catchy song. My greatest fear was that i would break into a chorus while in the line at Wal Mart.
My wife is the potty training queen. With our son she let him outside naked. He got a sense of the control and the carpet was safe. Wrong time of the year for this suggestion but keep it in mind if not resolved by spring.
With my son being around my wife and daughter so much, I had to have the discussion I never thought I would have as a daddy. "Son, boys don't have to wipe after they wee wee."
Prayers go up for you long suffering moms!
Post a Comment