A snob

K: Mom what is a snob?

M: A person who is snooty.

K: What does snooty mean?

M: Being snooty is when you act like you are better than some one else, or when you look down your nose at other people.

K: You mean some people can really see down their noses?

M:Apparently so.

So how long do I let her think that snobs are people whose eyes can see down their noses?

The other half of 100

The random list continues...
51. I am not competitive. I don’t like competition and I can’t stand it when people turn non-competitive things into a competition.
52. I had two major kidney surgeries (1 at 2 years and 1 at 12 years). I had my tonsils out at age 6. I was put in the hospital several different times with the flu, kidney complications, and once with food poisoning. SO life total with babies, I have been in the hospital 12 times.
53. I love color and can not decide what my favorite is… deep reds and blues I think.
54. There are no white walls in my house.
55. My favorite poet is Shel Silverstein.
56. I know it is unpopular in Christian circles but I still really admire & watch Oprah.
57. I do not get reality TV.
58. My favorite shows however are the reality based…Trading Spaces and Extreme Makeover Home Edition.
59. I also like Alias but I never seem to remember to watch it. I do not watch TV very often at all.
60. I used to scrapbook.
61. I quit scrap-booking because it just overwhelmed me! I have a closet full of scrap-booking items that I hope to return to someday.
62. I am very independent and always have been.
63. Those who know me really well find it comical that I live across the street from my parents because I am so independent!
64. I love to paint , install things, build things and tear things down.
65. My husbands first Christmas present to me after we married was a Black & Decker five piece tool set…and I was not mad.
66. I mowed the lawn once when Rob was in Atlanta for two weeks.
67. I do not like to mow the yard.
58. I like to dig in the dirt and plant things. I am not good at maintaining plants however so there is a plant grave yard behind our shed.
69. I like too cook if I don’t have to cook.
70. I would rather cook for 12 than 2.
71. I love the grocery store if I am by myself.
72. I can’t stand the grocery store when my kids are with me, but I do it anyway.
73. I have always been allergic to exercise.
74. I can roller blade, ice skate, water ski, snow ski, swim, golf and bike but it seems like I never do these things anymore!
75. I don’t like to sweat because I am not a graceful sweat-er. I get all red faced and ugly when I sweat.
76. I melt in heat that is humid.
77. I love snow.
78. I live in the wrong state for my weather preferences.
79. I am a slow reader, but I really like to read.
80. I love chicken salad.
81. I love almost anything that comes out of a bakery.
82. I drive a mini-van and am da** proud of it! (Yes, I caved and edited it out!)
83. I love being involved in PTA.
84. I love playing scrabble, spades and hearts… and admit I can be a bit competitive when it comes to these games.
85. I never took typing but can hunt and peck close to 60 wpm.
86. I love to sing , but I’m not sure it is fun for those who hear me!
87. If I could have one realistic wish… it would be to have the house to myself for two weeks so I could organize and clean out years of stuff!
88. I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I either do something all the way or not at all.
89. The best thing I ever did outside of giving my life to Christ was to say "yes!" when my husband proposed! (Which he did under the influence of major pain killers:) He had just come out of shoulder surgery!)
90. Rob really is the better half of this marriage!
91. I love to take naps and sleep late.
92. I am a night owl by nature.
93. I get carsick easily.
94. I love to fly! I love to travel!
95. Summer nights are my favorite time ever.
96. I do not tan well, I just burn and peel.
97. I do not color my hair but am asked regularly if I do. ???
98. My favorite perfume is Miracles by Lancôme.
99. I left Estee Lauder for drug store products… but I hope to return someday.
100. I like to blog but, I like to read other people's blogs more!

It took me way too long to come up with this list!!!

Half my list of 100

Lately I have noticed a trend in blogworld to post a list of 100 things about oneself. 100 THINGS!!! I resisted for a while but , reluctantly came up with a list in two parts. Here is half of a very random, in no order of importance, list of 100 things about me...
1. I have been a member of a church of Christ most all my life.
My home churches:
2. Johnson Street C of C, San Angelo, Texas 1970 - 1996
3. Southern Hills C of C, Abilene, Texas 1988- 89
4. Highland C of C, Abilene, Texas 1989 -1993
5. Eastleigh C of C, Nairobi, Kenya, Summer of 91 & 92
6. Golf Course Road C of C, Midland, Texas 1996
7. Southlake C of C, Southlake, Texas March 1997 - Dec 2001
8. Crestview C of C , Waco, Texas 2002 to present.
9. I lived in the same house from age 2 until my parents moved across town when I was 21, except college.
10. I was never the new kid in school . I went to 1 elementary school ~ Travis, 1 Junior High ~ Glenn, 1High school ~ Central,
and 2 Colleges ~ ACU & ASU.
11. I was baptized between the 3rd & 4th grade after sleepless nights at church camp in Brady, Texas fearing that God would come if I went to sleep and I would go to HE**. My parents wanted me to wait until I got home from camp to be baptized . They didn't want me scared into baptism.
12. The Sunday after camp our preacher, Bill Young baptized me. I was still a little scared!
13. I grew up thinking that Baptist and Methodist were "different religions" and Catholics had a different God! ( So embarrassing! Surely part of this was just little girl confusion!)
14. I clearly remember debates during lunch at my elementary school with a Baptist boy about Jesus not being born on Christmas and REAL Christians not using instruments in church! (So sorry BRATCHER! ) That same boy was my one of my best friends from 5th grade on and an usher in our wedding. (Hi Scott!)
15. I have one sister who is beautiful... and single!!! I was 8 ½ when she was born.
16. I tried to sell my sister on blogger because I want a brother-in-law & nieces and nephews!
17. I always wanted an older bother. Mom had a miscarriage before me so I decided I had an older brother who ...Didn't make it!
18. I thrived on DRAMA growing up! Can ya' tell?
19. My Dad was an only child and he was adopted.
20. My cousin Robby told me my Dad was adopted when I was 9. For some odd reason it rocked my world!
21. Since age 9 , I have seen strangers on the street that looked like my Dad and wondered if they were my aunt or uncle.
22. I used to fantasize that somehow through my Dad I was related to Julie Andrews and/ or Laura Ingalls Wilder.
23. At age 22 I found out who my Dad's birth mother was but she had died two years earlier. She never had any other children. We think my Dads birth father's name was Ben Davis. We only know his name.
24. I wonder if I will meet my birth grandparents in Heaven.
25. My Mom has one sister, Thomasue. She was my favorite person growing up. I have four first cousins who all live in Waco, go to church at Crestview, and are like my siblings. Their children (4 and counting) are like my nieces and nephews.
26. I love my family... All of them!!!
27. I met my husband on someone else's blind date at an all night Soft-ball tourney hours after declaring to friends that I was no longer worried about finding the "ONE" & wanted to enjoy being single for a few more years.
28. Rob and I knew at least a dozen of the same people well for years before ever meeting or hearing of each other.
29. We met on July 15th, were talking marriage by August, and were engaged on October 19th.
30. After a 10 month engagement, we married on my grandparents 55th wedding anniversary 3 blocks from where they were married!
31. Honeymooned at Walt Disney World ~ the best vacation ever!!!
32. In our first year of marriage we moved 5 times, both changed jobs, lost my Grandfather and got pregnant! What a year!!!
33. I learned to drive a stick shift on a brand new 911 at Porsche Training in Reno Nevada.
34. I have been to LA three times but can't remember anything but the convention center and hotel... same for Chicago.
35. My favorite city is New York! I have been there 9 times and would go tomorrow if I could. The last time I was in New York, I was 5 months pregnant with Rhett.
36. I am not a picky person 98% of the time. Picky people peeve me, but only when they are snotty about it! :-)
37. I was a Fiesta Del Concho Ambassador for San Angelo in the summer of 1989.
38. I was the Spiritual Life Committee Chair on ACU senate for 3 years. AKA "the spiritual life chick!"
39. My Swahili nick name was Nweli Mingi ~ which roughly translates BIG HAIR!
40. I have spent more time in the Indian Ocean than any other.
41. I have ADD. Again ~ Can't ya tell?
42. I love to plan parties for my kids, family, church, PTA ~ I think I should have been an event coordinator.
43. I used to say I wanted to be a lawyer when I grew up, but really, I have always wanted to be a stay-home Mom.
44. I had three main obsessions growing up: Donnie & Marie, Little House on the Prairie, and Days of Our Lives.
45. I loved to cook at a very early age and brought my Mom breakfast in bed (that I had cooked) around age 3. Really!
46. I used to dress up like a maid and clean and clean when I was little. I LOVED to clean back then.
47. My husband wishes I would return to the pastimes of my youth (see #45 & #46)
48. I have a severe phobia of tests and have been known to break out in hives and puke repeatedly on the way to an exam.
49. I was in 10 wrecks between ages 16 and 26 and was never hurt.
50. History always was and is still my favorite subject.

Sweet Tea, Lent and Daffodils

I grew up in (and still go to) a Church of Christ, so to me "lent" was just something you cleaned off the air filter in the dryer. Around age 21, I came to the untraditional church of Christ belief that Christmas was just as good a time as any to celebrate Christ's birth. In fact, I decided to celebrate the fact that so many in the world cared enough about Christ to want to celebrate his birth.I still love the whole Santa HO HO HO thing, but Christ is a part of my Christmas.

After putting Christ in Christmas I guess the next step in the natural progression was to put the East back in Easter??? :) Just a few years ago I decided my Easter had to be about more than Chocolate bunnies and egg hunts. This year for the first time I decided to celebrate, or at least participate in, the season of Lent. (Not at all to be confused with the season of "lint" which involved a bird making a nest in our dryer vent last fall another blog.)

My husband grew up Catholic, so he has helped me with this a little. I have gone online and studied Lent. I have tried to fast (although I forgot and ate meat one Friday) and for the first time ever, I gave something up for Lent. AND Lent, as it turns out, is a long time! Ash Wednesday to Good Friday, or February 9th to March 25th this year. I gave up sweet tea, well actually all forms of tea.

This has been a bigger challenge than I thought. Over the past year I have developed an ice tea habit. Everyday, or almost everyday, sometimes even twice a day, I pull through Bush's on Hewitt Drive for a large, 50cent, 32oz., ice tea. Sweet, unsweet half-n-half or Nutra-sweetened, I love ice tea!!! There are very few, if any days that I do not go down Hewitt Drive past Bush's Tea... I mean Bush's Chicken. That sweet tea has been calling to me! But I needed to cut back on caffeine and I wanted my first Lent to mean something. Any guesses as to what I will bring to Easter Dinner this year?:)

I'm not sure exactly what you are supposed to do when you give something up for Lent, but everytime I think about tea, I try to say a little prayer asking Jesus to fill me instead and renew my love and zeal for his body. Today I was in the worst mood because circumstances beyond my control kept me from eating lunch with some good friends. Just as I hung up the phone from canceling, I passed Bush's. I said my "instead of tea prayer" and my mood was 100 times better, my heart lighter and my outlook rosier. Funny how even the smallest sacrifices are rewarded when your heart is right! Is this what Lent is supposed to do?

I am not saying that I think the Church of Christ has been wrong not to observe Lent. I'm not saying that every Christian must observe Lent. But for me, it has been a good thing. Any others out there experiencing Lent for the first time?
These are not my daffodils, just illustrations to the story!
On a totally separate note I just spent $10 on a dozen little daffodils for the front yard! Each year I add a few more plants so eventually the front beds will be covered. I love the cheery greeting these flowers give as I pull in our drive! YEAH! I love SPRING ~ new starts, new flowers, new growth!

Spring fever has hit!!

The Good Enough Mom

Just wondering... Have you seen the newest Newsweek? It is chalk full of articles of interest to me. I love this one about a "Slacker Mom" who refuses to join the rat race.


And how many of you can relate to this one by Judith Warner about Perfect Madness- Mothers in the Age of Anxiety? Do you agree with her conclusions? I'm not sure I do, but I thnk she is right about women my age and feelings of being overwhelmed.

Then there is an Anna Quindlin article called The Good Enough Mom. My favorite part Quindlin's article:

There's the problem with turning motherhood into martyrdom. There's no way
to do it and have a good time. If we create a never-ending spin cycle of
have-tos because we're trying to expiate senseless guilt about working or not
working, trying to keep up with the woman at school whose kid gets A's because
she writes the papers herself, the message we send our children is terrible. By
our actions we tell them that being a mom—being their mom—is a drag, powered by
fear, self-doubt and conformity, all the things we are supposed to teach them to
overcome. It just becomes a gloss on that old joke: Enough about me. What about
you? How do you make me feel about myself? The most incandescent memories of my
childhood are of making my mother laugh. My kids did the same for me. A good
time is what they remember long after toddler programs and art projects are
over. The rest is just scheduling.

OUCH! That one hit me right between the eyes! Being a Mom is hard at times, but do we make it harder than it has to be? It is also supposed to be fun. What do you think???

Church

I love my church. My whole life I have been an active and willing church member. Lately though I seem to want a little distance from church. There is nothing wrong with my church family. I have great friends and family there. I love our preacher. There are lots opportunities to be involved. My kids and husband love our church. We know we belong there. But truth in blogging... Sometimes I feel sort of distant from church. Sometimes I don't want to go. Even when I know I need to go. Even when I feel like I need to draw nearer to the Father. Even when I know everyone there loves me and wants nothing but the best for me... Part of me just dreads church. Why is this? It seems that when I need God the most, I am most intimidated and least likely to want to go to church.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel most exposed when at church? I truly do not think it has anything to do with my church family, but church is sometimes where I feel the most vulnerable, the most guilty, the most self loathsome, and the most unworthy. I know that God, my Church leaders, and my friends and family at church do not want want me to feel this way. I know this is a struggle I have to come to terms with because I need to be involved and active in the body. I know that I am the only one who can talk myself in to or out of the church doors. However, knowing all this does not always help me want to go to church. Have you ever felt this way? What do you do?

Now please, if you go to my church don't phone the elders or Jim or worry that I am going to drop off the roll or out of the pews. I'm not going anywhere. I don't want ot go anywhere else. I just think that as Christians we can't always paint our lives in Pollyanna tones and act like we never struggle with parts of our faith. I struggle with this. I am struggling with this now. I love my God, and I love my church, but I struggle with my attitude towards going sometimes.

I share this because I do not think I am alone. In fact, in talking with some friends recently, I think that there are quite a few people (not just in my church or even denomination, but in all churches) who struggle with this. I know that many people love everything about church and have never struggled with anything like this. This post is not for those people. But, I also know that there are many people reading this who love their churches and have dealt with this before. No church bashing please, that is not the point here. I am just asking what do you do when you feel yourself struggling with church?


Just a reminder, anon. comments are allowed here! Saying a prayer that I don't regret this post!!! Too much truth in blogging?? We'll see!

The pitter patter of ....

There is another baby boom going on amongst my friends and family. I'm sidelined for this round of babies, and may retire from the game before "going in" again. It has me thinking about all the "what if's". Not that this will ever happen, officially we have said we are done, but if I were to get pregnant in the next year and deliver in the next 18 months...

~ I would be 40 with a four year old.

~ Kolby would be eight years older and graduating from High School before the third would be in 5th grade.

~ I would be the oldest Mom in MOPS.

~ We would no longer have a guest bedroom.

~ I would be (shudder, shudder) 54 when the youngest graduated from High School!

~ I would have children at Spring Valley Elementary for 14 straight years!

~ We would have kids in college (ACU = $$$$ = Retiring at 100) for 12 straight years~no overlap if each graduated in 4 years.

~ I would have been pregnant for 30 months or 2.5 years of my life, not including miscarriages.

~ I have two potty trained children.... dare I ever go back?

I am beginning to see why Rob is "complete" with two. Is it a woman thing to mourn the fact that there will never be another baby growing and kicking inside of you? Is it just crazy that I still look at the newborn section of clothing stores first? Do I feel this way because both of my babies seemed to be so big by six months? Am I supposed to feel at peace with this? My maternal clock is winding down and it makes me a little sad. How do you know for sure when you are "done"? Is there ever peace in that or will I wonder my whole life "what if?"

Just some of the thoughts pitter-pattering around in my head today!

I never

Thinking about a game that's going over on Vals blog, and a list thing that started on Jenni's blog today, I decided to write down my list of "I Nevers", or "I've Nevers" for those so inclined. To play this in the real world you hold up ten fingers and go around a circle of friends telling things you have never done. Everytime you have done one of the things that someone says they have never done, you put a finger down. You go until only one person has fingers or a finger left up. That person is the winner. For blog purposes, I will just list my I nevers. Feel free to play along....

I've never broken a bone.
I've never sung a solo on a stage with an audience.
I've never been on a military base.
I've never owned a suburban.
I've never owned a truck.
I've never been to Seattle.
I've never been to Washington DC.
I've never smoked a cigarette.
I've never drunk a whole beer.
I've never had my ears pierced.
I've never been to Boston.
I've never bought anything at Abercrombie.
I've never made a red velvet cake.
I've never met the President.
I've never been to Hawaii.
I've never had perfect attendance in anything.
I've never been arrested.
I've never been in jail.
I've never been burglarized.
I've never been stoned.
I've never been drunk...But I have been to tipsy-ville several times.
I've never been completely finished with the laundry...and doubt this ever happens in my lifetime.
I've never cheated on my husband.
I've never wanted to cheat on my husband.
I've never been to Nashville.
I've never read War and Peace. AND I've never wanted to read War & Peace.
I never saw "The Passion" in the movie theater. (I know, I know, I'm Sorry!!! )
I've never eaten at PF Changs.
I've never caught a bridal Bouquet.
I've never been completely skinny dipping.
I've never witnessed a live human birth, besides the birth of my own kids. (Though I have seen a goat, a horse and a litter of puppies "come out")
I've never voted for a Democrat in a presidential election. (Three Bushes and a Dole so I'm 2 for 2. Fair 'nuff! )
I've never voted straight party.
I've never played Basketball on a team.
I've never run for fun.
I've never ordered a steak. (well, chicken fried but that was long ago and doesn't count)
I've never had anchovies on pizza.
I've never been up in a hot air balloon.
I've never been to China.
I've never hitch-hiked.
I've never been to a Nas-Car race.
I've never been snow boarding.
I've never paid more than $100 for a pair of shoes.
I've never paid more than $45 for an entree.
I've never had craw-dad.
I've never tasted veal.
I've never killed an animal... but I have whacked a few spiders and creepy crawlies.
I've never ordered a strait cup of coffee.
I've never understood why anyone would join the KKK.
I've never understood why it is fashionable for underwear to hang out of your jeans.
I've never parasailed, but strangely enough, I dream about it from time to time.
I've never been passed the border towns into Mexico.

AND FOR FUN (don't put any fingers down)
I've never forgotten a toothless Mexican woman trying to sell us her brand new baby boy in Guadalahara when I was 7.
I've never stopped having nightmares about my very mean 6th grade teacher -Mrs. Nelda Powell.
I've never been happier than when I brought my sweet babies home for the first time.
I've never enjoyed five days as much as I did our Honeymoon at Walt Disney World.
I've never watched The Little Mermaid with out getting misty eyed when she leans over the ship to kiss her Dad after she is married. AND I've never admitted that to anyone before now.
I've never thought this hard about all the things I have never done.



So how many fingers do you have up?


To be continued.....

Sweetheart

This picture from Kolby's party last Friday came from my good friend Susan. Check out her blog today for some adorable pictures, if I do say so myself!

Happy Heart Day!

Reading ~~~~~
EmilyDickinson
22
I gave myself to him,
And took himself for pay.
The solemn contract of a life
Was ratified this way
The value might disappoint,
Myself a poorer prove
Than this my purchaser suspect,
The daily own of Love
Depreciates the sight;
But, 'til the merchant buy,
Still fabled, in the isles of spice
The subtle cargoes lie.
At least, 'tis mutual risk,—
Some found it mutual gain;
Sweet debt of Life,—each night to owe,
Insolvent, every noon.

Listening to ~~~~~~~
Valentine (Martina Mcbride)
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time...
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

Dining on ~~~~~~
Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip
Shrimp Toast
Grilled Rasberry Chipolte Pork Tenderloin with Special Rice,
Bacon-wrapped Green Beans,
Summer Salad with Almonds and Crispies,
And a Peanut Butter Pie

Ahhh! Happy Heart Day!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

We are recovering from Kolby's big birthday weekend. The party Friday night was really fun. The most special part of the whole weekend for me was having my good friend Susan (aka SJ) come in from Arkansas with her boys. Kolby was elated to open the door and see her good buddy Jonathan! It was a wonderful surprise for her, and a treat for all of us! Just last week Kolby said "Susan is friend who is an aunt." Yes, that sums it up well for me, Susan is a friend who is a sister. Feel free to move back to Texas anytime Ms Susan & family!

The stomach bug has decided to pay me a visit today. It seems to be a rather mild bug. THANK YOU!

Must go help Kolby with her Valentines.

So much going on in blog world this weekend. I am glad to have you all here to share with and learn from. I love this BLOG thing! I hope you enjoy being with someone you love today!

To Kolby on her seventh birthday

This is a few days early but I felt moved to write it out now.

Dear Kolby,

I will never forget the warm afternoon in June when I ran to Alberston’s on 183 and Browntrail in Hurst,Texas on my way home from work to make a very important purchase. . . a home pregnancy test. I bought several not realizing that there were 2 in a box. I also had one in the car that I had taken from the defunked "teen help closet" at work. I remember waiting for your Daddy to leave to help with VBS. I told him I would come later as I was having some stomach issues... little did he know!

He had barely closed the front door when I ran in the bathroom and took the first two tests. (I wanted to be sure.) IMEDIATELY the lines started forming. I checked the box.
Oh my, that can’t be right! I’ll take another.
And another…and another… Twenty minutes later there was a line of several pregnancy tests laid out on the bath tub. All said the same thing ~ BABY! I was really late to VBS that night.

Over the next nine months our lives changed dramatically. Two months after that June day when we learned you were coming, we celebrated our first anniversary by closing on a house. I just couldn’t have a baby in an apartment! (Why? I don’t remember!) Pregnancy was not what I expected, but we couldn't wait to meet you! I quit work on February 2nd and was put on bed rest that same day. Eight days later my "elephant" ankles and rising blood pressure convinced the doctor to help you along. I was admitted to the hospital at 6:30pm on the 10th to be induced on the 11th.

I cried the whole night before you were born because the nurses didn’t believe me when I said you were coming. They had just given me a sleeping pill at 11pm when my water broke. But the nurse kept saying that I was fine and they would induce in the morning. We knew differently, didn’t we! Around 4:30am when the nurse came in to check on me, I tearfully told her it felt like there was a potato between my legs. She ran over and threw back the covers…"OH MY! YOU ARE CROWNING!!!!"

When Dr. Gordon said "It’s a girl!" I was so happy. Somehow I think I had always known you were a girl. We met face to face around 5:00am. It was a perfect moment. In all my life I had never felt so loved and blessed as I did holding you with your Daddy’s arm in mine and your Mama K looking on in awe and wonder. You were a perfectly pink and alert little baby girl. My speechless heart cried tears of joy in a prayer of complete and total thanks.
2-11-98, Sara Kolby Grosz, 8 hours old.

An hour or so later when everyone had met you and they cleaned you up, I felt the first of many a "Mommy fear." I was terrified when they said it was time for me to nurse you, but you knew just what to do! It was the first time your confidence and ability would squelch my fears. You have done that many times over the last seven years.
Kolby on her first Birthday.

The first years with you were just fun and love while learning how to be both Wife and Mommy. There were some real hard and scary times, but as long as you and Daddy were ok, my world was right. Those days were so precious that I took about two rolls of film a week trying to remember every detail. People often kidded that you might get a "flash burn" from my camera happy habits. Everyday you seemed to grow and change. It was (and still is) an amazing thing to watch. You made your Daddy and I feel like a real family. You were then, as you are today, our little doll and drama queen! Back then my passion in life was dressing you up and showing you off! You were quite the little performer… as long as it was on your terms.

Age two on her big girl bed!

I tell you all this because in my heart when I look at your barely seven-year-old, freckle-faced smile, I sometimes see that precious wide-eyed, alert, perfectly pink baby I met so early one February morning. You will always be my baby girl! The older you get the more amazed and blessed I feel that God chose me to be your Mom. I am still in awe of the incredible little girl that I see before me. I love you so very, very much. You are smart, strong, funny and so loving and sweet. Your future is incredibly bright. As you continue to grow in the knowledge and love of our Father God, I pray that your heart will always stay with him. I know you will be able to accomplish all He sets before. God has a great plan for you Miss Kolby Sue!

September 12, 2001 Rhett's 2nd day home from the hospital. Kolby is 3 years 7 months & 1day old.

I will always be here cheering you on and loving you with a love I never knew possible. Time with you is priceless to me. I hope you never out grow Eskimo kisses or snuggling with your Mommy! But if you do… we will have lots of memories of Mommy/Daughter time together. Happy Birthday my beautiful, precious baby girl! I love you!!

Mommy
February 2005
Kolby now!

Are your ears burning?

I read an article about us in the paper Sunday. You can read it here. Seems we bloggers are growing in number by the hour. The Waco Tribune Herald ran the story under the title "Tales from the crib ~ Blogs by parents revel in self absorption."
Self-absorption? I started to take issue with that, but I can't. It's true. We bloggers talk about ourselves a lot. We report funny stories about our days. It's all about us... Or is it? Most of the blogs I read have a very spiritual tone. Man we are bad... totally absorbed in God and family! What is the world coming to?
My next reaction was why single out parents? There are blogs about business, politics, entertainment... Everything! Why is it so unusual for a national pastime (blogging is number 5 now) to focus around parenting? My, my, my, these are treacherous times we live in! :)
I think blogging about kids, God, and family is healthy, especially when you consider all the other things one could blog about. So blog on my fellow bloggers, Blog On! Though I'm preaching to the choir, I just wanted to give you heads up.... they're talking about us!

P.S. When will the blog spell check learn to recognize the word BLOG? AND I actually did enjoy the article. It was just the sub-title that gave me pause.

Options

This morning in our living room...

Me : Rhett you need to tidy up a bit and spread your bed. (My kids call it that, don't know why.)
Rhett: Mommy that is not a option.... I have two options, watch Rolly Polly Ollie and play with my super heroes.
Me: (Biting my tongue to keep from laughing.) Excuse me Rhett. What did you say?
Very determined and slightly annoyed at having to repeat himself, Rhett slowly and distinctly said "Cleaning is not a option today."

I totally agree with his words, just not his meaning!
One can only imagine what conversations in our house have sounded like when the three year old starts using the word "options." Love and Logic anyone?

Thanks

I wanted to briefly thank you, my fellow bloggers, for all the words of encouragement in comments and e-mails after yesterdays post. You guys build me up! I love this blog thing!!!
AND I wanted to direct you to Val's blog today. But a word of warning, grab a box of Kleenex as you go. Val is one of the most talented writers/bloggers/people around. Highland may not have a full time worship minister, but they have Val, who only lacks the title, office and church paid salary!

A stepping stone...

The sun is shining for the first time all week (YEAH!) and I have a long list of things to do while Rhett and McKenna are at Mothers Day Out. But, I need to share a few thoughts first...

Last night Rob and I visited a class at church based on the book Sacred Parenting. Since it was my first time in this class and since I do not have the book, I felt as if I was walking in on the middle of a conversation. I planned to just listen and glean as much as a "visitor' can. But last nights class hit on something deep inside me, something that I have let slide recently.

The discussion focused on the joys of parenting and encouraging your children. I came away very mindful of how encouragement is just as important as discipline and accountability. It is easy to loose sight of that, not just in parenting, but in all relationships.

I am not a natural encourager, though I wish I was. I love to be around people who are naturally encouraging. I have to really think about it though and make a conscience concentrated effort. Encouragers lift others up for the good in them. Maybe with more thoughtful practice, encouraging will become more habitual if not natural for me. I want to be a better encourager.

The class also got me thinking about those who have really encouraged me. Gratefully, my list of encouragers is pretty long. But there is one who stands out from all the rest, Thomas Caskey Livingston, my Granddaddy.

Though he died eight years ago this March, my Grandfather is still one of the most influential encourager and supporters in my life. He truly loved me no matter what. Even though it was embarrassing at the time, my Granddaddy bragged and bragged about my accomplishments to anyone who would listen ~ whether I truly merited bragging or not. My Granddad always treated me like I was someone really special. He could see past all my shortcomings and flaws, even when I couldn't.

In college when I struggled with what I thought were earth-shattering, life-ruining mistakes and circumstances, my Granddaddy grinned and told me not to put much stock in my troubles. He said I was going to be just fine. He seemed to have no doubt. His belief in me helped me to believe in myself. He wrote me several letters of encouragement saying that I was bigger and more important than any class I dropped or any wrong committed.

His letters were always encouraging, never rebuking or judgmental. Believe me, he had every right and opportunity to focus on my flaws and press me to mend my ways, but he never did. He just loved and believed in me. Looking back, that had to have been hard for him, but he never let on. I really miss him. I wish my kids could have known him. I married a guy who reminds me a lot of my Granddaddy in the way he loves and encourages me. I'm very blessed!

Granddaddy had a favorite poem that he quoted a lot. All six of his grandchildren know it by heart...

Isn't it strange that Princes and Kings,
And clowns that caper in saw dust rings,
And plain ole folk, just like you and me,
Are all builders of eternity
To each is given a book of rules,
A shapeless mass, and a bag of tools,
And each must make ere life is flown,
A stumbling block, or a stepping stone.

My grandfather heard this poem at an early age and took it to heart. Caskey Livingston was not a perfect man, but he was a stepping stone for me and many others. Even when his business failed and he had to start all over at an age that many men retire, he didn't let life get him down. He encouraged and loved people in a way that only a man possessed by Christ can love. I could not hope for more than to be the kind of "stepping stone" my grandfather was in the lives of his loved ones.... Especially since it seems everyone he knew became one of his loved ones! He made a great stepping stone.

Lord, Thank you for Granddaddy and all the "stepping stones" you have so generously placed in my path! Help me to become that same rock of encouragement in the lives of others. And thank you for your perfect, building love. Amen


May you have a blessed, and "Son" filled day!

Hold on!

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head
And the thoughtful words of help and hope
Have all been nicely said
But I'm still hurting, wondering if I'll ever be the one
I think I am - I think I am
Then you gently re-remind me
That You've made me from the first
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst
And I realize the good in me is only there because of who You are
Who You are...
And all I ever have to be is what
You've made me
Any more or less would be a step out of Your plan
As you daily recreate me
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do what I can find
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be is what
You've made me!
Lyrics by Amy Grant, Word Music 1980

As I said the other day, the music of Amy Grant has seen me through many a trial and triumph in life. At times when it felt like the roof was caving in, this song gave me hope. This song came to mind thinking about a friend who feels the weight of the world on her shoulders right now. This blog is for her. I hope she reads it!

I have been where you are so many times and felt that all encompassing heaviness that saturates to the bone. I have felt my head swirl so fast in a cloud of fear and doubt that my stomach churned and I literally was taken to the floor with nausea. "Where are you, God?" you cry out.
He is right here the spirit says. Did you hear him? Grab that salvation that Jesus died to give you and HOLD ON!
He is right here! Just keep moving forward and hold on tight.
When it has been cold and dark for so long that the light of day seems like a distant evasive dream, HOLD ON!
All you ever have to be is what HE made you, HOLD ON!
The Savior isn't finished with you yet, HOLD ON!
The best is yet to be, HOLD ON!
You are never as alone as you may feel. He is with you. It will get better. HOLD ON!

The greatest thing about growing older is learning that God truly is faithful and that everything is temporal, outside of God's love and Christ's sacrifice! Eventually the clouds will lift and the sun will shine. Even the worst storms have an ending. SO HOLD ON!
You are never so deep in darkness that the blood of Christ can't find you. He will never give up on you, even if you give up on him. Just hold on! HOLD ON!

Dear Lord
Please shelter my sweet friend. She has done wrong and she knows it. She is remorseful and hurting. She has been wronged and it seems life is falling apart around her. She has lost many a battle and she is tired of fighting. Lord, please fight for her! Please wrap her in your loving arms and hold on to her until this storm passes. Just hold on! I ask this in the name of your son Jesus, Amen.

Gray Rainy Day

Rhett: Mommy I don't want to go to school today.
Me: Why not?
Rhett: It's too cold.
Me: You're right! If you want to stay home you can.
(After all it is only Mother's Day Out and this Mother would rather stay in today!)
Rhett: Horray, no school !!! (Then sort of in awe and still excited...) You can hear me Mom. You really can hear me!

So is he saying I don't listen to him?