That is the question of the day.
Baby number three and we still can't agree on whether we should find out if it is a girl or boy or wait for the surprise. With Kolby we did not want to find out. With Rhett I alone found out at about 32 weeks and kept the secret. (I was having some post miscarriage bonding jitters and the doctor thought knowing the sex might help me think of the baby as real and viable...Which it did!)
So here we are at number three. I want to know. I feel like I need to know. I don't care boy or girl, but I want to know.
Rob doesn't want to know. Not sure of all of his reasons, he just wants it to be a surprise like the others.
What to do?
I do not want to have to keep the secret again. I just couldn't. I really want to find out so I can plan, paint, get bedding, rearrange the house to fit the baby in etc. But, Rob is steadfast in his not wanting to know.
So I'm putting it out there for discussion. What do you guys think? Help me sway my husband or help him sway me....
four things | twelve (Christmas edition)
16 hours ago
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19 comments:
Stephanie, I think you should have it be a surprise! No does surprises anymore! The baby will probably stay in a bassinet in yyour beroom for the first 3 months. For the first 3 months the baby won't need a bedroom of their own! A surprise can be so exciting!
Just my 2 cents worth. Best wishes to you all. Jana
OK, you know my answer to this!
FIND OUT!
It is just as much a surprise when you find out at 20 weeks! You are going to be so busy with three kids running around (since all will be home with you) that being as prepared as possible is in your best interest.
I am stepping on my soap box on this one. I have heard the argument that it is fun to be surprised. Well....it is still a surprise when the baby comes!
When I went into labor each time, I couldn't wait to see what they looked like and how big they were.
It wasn't like, "Well, I already know what it is so there is no surprise."
Stepping off soap box now.
I absolutely agree with Elizabeth, but you knew that. It is a thrill and a surprise whenever you find out.
You need to know. I need to know!
Tell Rob I am begging him to find out. That should work, right? ha
I've done it both ways, and they were both the right decision at the time. We didn't find out with Julia, and the most thrilling moment of my life was lying on the operating table and hearing the doctor say "You have a little girl!" With Jenna we did find out, and was nice to have a girl nursery all decorated and ready to go this time. And it was nice knowing we weren't going to have to go out and buy a bunch of boy stuff. But I know that as far as that goes, you're covered either way!
Well, my soap box would be the opposite of Elizabeth's. (No offense!) We didn't find out with either of ours, and it was so exciting!!!!!!! I will say that it was soooo much harder with the 2nd not to find out, and if a 3rd came along, it would be even harder, I'm sure. I just love the suspense! Just my opinion. ((Hugs)) I do like the outlook of finding out "who" God sent rather than "what" that someone mentioned above.
Fortunately, both my husband and I are big "find-outer" kind of people. But, I agree with Elizabeth and the other pro find- outers.
I have a friend that just recently went through this same thing. At her sonogram her husband still did not want to find out, so she had the dr write down the sex and seal it in an envelope. That way, if they decided they wanted to know, they could open the envelope when they were ready. Needless to say, the envelope was opened before they got home from the dr appt!!
I would HAVE to know. I am so much of a planner.
That being said, there are precious few surprises in this world...
I am sooo glad this is YOUR choice--we are voting about 50/50 here!
I would have to know--I truly don't like surprises--but if Rob does and you don't want to keep a secret...
I know that I have not posted anything before but of course I read the blog quite a bit. What a great woman I have!!!!!!
Ok, I feel that it is a blessing to be able to have a child and if it were not for technology, then we would have to wait until the birth to find out. I love the fact that I can leave the delivery room and be able to tell a waiting room full of people that the new bundle of joy has arrived and announce the sex. I feel that everyone is caught up in anticipation of the moment and there is excitement all around. So not only do I not want to know, I feel that it make the birth that much more special.
FIND OUT!!! sorry rob, momma's got the goods and if she wants to know and be able to prepare b4 3 children r runnung around then by all means, tell that baby to spread 'em!!!!
ok here is my idea... get the dr. to seal up the info in an envelope, then HAVE A PARTY! Make it a big affair and open the envelope with the ones you love. Get the kids involved, it will be great! My fried did this and send out invitation and the whole bit... called it a Sonogram Surprise party or something.. Fun!
Basically, the people who rest their arguem,ent on the element of surprise are only talking semantics.
FIND OUT!!! It's a surprise either way! Just depends on when you want to be surprised. Me? I like the surprise well in advance so that things can be ready. By number three--I'm saying do you really want to wait til the day of?
David and Kendra Needham did this--Kendra didn't want to know and David did. Well--along about month 8, David slipped with a pronoun and that was the end. So--take a chance and see if you can keep it. Guess he'll figure it out though when the room is decorated in hot pink!!
I don't want anyone knowing anything about me that I don't know. If the Dr knows you should know too!!
I do like the commentors ideal about having a party to announce it! That would fulfill both needs!
BST said it best. It is a surprise either way. You just get it 4 months earlier! A surprise at 20 weeks and a surprise at 40 weeks. Two surprises for the price of one!
Find out! Maybe you can arrange to have your kids at the sonogram. It'll be like 2 parties - 1 for the sonogram & 1 for the birth! THEN....you can name the baby & start bonding with him/her while still in the womb & maybe he/she will recognize their name when they're born!
Not that you need to have the baby named to start bonding - that sounded kinda dumb!
Since this baby is your last, tell Rob it would mean the world to you to know the gender of the baby. I would want to know so I could prepare.
I have had 3 kids and it is wonderful, but time consuming. You do need the time to plan and paint.
OK, one more thing. Rob has had it his way TWICE (kind of). He got to do the big announcement thing both times.
I know not everyone agreed with us, but I liked the way we did it. We found out and told the sex, but not the name we choose. So Mark got to roll Jonathan out and "introduce" him to our family. Just something to think about.
As much as I respect my husbands wishes, I tend to agree with SJ. We did it his way the first two times!
Besides, I think a birth is as special as can be...knowing or not knowing, every birth is just as special!
AND I'm not sure if five minutes of thrill in the waiting room... (which I will be in the recovery room not sharing!)is worth 5 months of me (and numerous others) aching to know what the baby is. I don't like suspense. I don't like surprises. I like to KNOW!
We'll see where this debate goes because I am sure it is long from over....
BUT I love that guy anyway! He is even cute when he comments, isn't he? :)
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