Thursday, March 30, 2006

For the love...

Rhett has been having wardrobe issues lately. He has some very strong opinions about what he will and will not wear. Lately he has decided to voice those opinions after he is dressed and as we are walking out the door. This morning he had a full scale melt down over ... I can't even say for sure what it was over. A cap? His hair? Or maybe he wanted a long sleeve shirt??? I'm not sure.

Anyway, I had no time to mess with him or his wardrode issues, so I tried to just get him in the car. He wouldn't budge. The mean mommy voice came out. Then tears. Melt down. Drama. We are now late! More tears. Threats. GET IN THE CAR!!!!!!!!! And just when I thought I was going to have to hog tie him and strap him to the roof of the van to get him to Mother's Day Out (figurtively speaking of course!) Rhett, with tears streaming down his face puts his arms up towards me and cries "Mommy, please just hug me!"

And it wasn't a snow job. He knew he had lost the battle and was not going to get to change clothes. It was like he was surrendering and wanted to make sure his mama still loved him . All anger gone, frustrations evaporated,and the ticking clock in my head silenced, I gave him the biggest hug ever! That child melts my heart! How can such a little human being be so exasperating and so loveable all at the same time? I really love that little boy more than life itself!

I can't help but wonder if maybe I should have just let him change whatever and gone on. We were late anyway. Sometimes I wonder if I choose the wrong battles. What really gets me about Rhett is that he takes it so personally and in the "heat of battle" is not afraid to hold up his arms and ask for a show of love, even when he knows he isn't going to win. I think I could learn a lot from that 4 year old!

Actually, Rhett and Kolby have taught me quite a bit about life. Nothing I have ever done has taught me more about or brought me closer to God than being a parent. I wonder if I someimes look to God like a fit throwing four year old looks to me? I wonder if it melts God's heart when I ask him to wrap his arms around me and love me? I wonder if God picks his battles or if he just knows he will win them all? I wonder if God sometimes wishes we would all just grow up, but in the next minute wants to freeze time because the "here and now"can be so precious?

I am just a weak flawed person, but my love for my children has to be one of the strongest forces in the universe. God is God and his love for us IS the strongest force in the universe!!! If I, who am weak, am willing to throw my body in front of a speeding car for my child, can you imagine what God is willing, ready, able and wanting to do for us? Awe inspiring, isn't it? I wonder sometimes why I can't just except his will and take the love he so freely offers with out the struggle. Why is it we have to struggle so? I guess that is a question for another blog.

Hope you have a great day today and live for the love!

9 comments:

Beaner said...

I love all your 'mommy-moments'!!! This post is exactly why I read your blog every day - I can relate!!! My almost 5-yr. old girl has been the bane of my existance one minute & the love of my life the next! Thanks for just putting your life "out there" in a real & honest way - it helps to know that I am not alone in the mommy struggles!!! I hope you had a good rest of the day "out".

Amy S. Grant said...

I echo what Beaner said. This one brought tears to my eyes. We have all been there both as the mom and the child needing the hug!

MDM said...

I needed that today. I had a rough morning with my older one. A voice came from me that I don't want to hear again for a long time. I dropped my girls at their schools and got a good cry in. I have felt kind of teary all day. Well, my point is....I just walked in from Target and I must have been reading your blog earlier today while the previous post was still up. I moved my mouse around and pressed refresh and there it was...your meaningful post. God does little miracles for me daily. He did it via SG today. I am praying for you.

Donna said...

Thank you for sharing! My four year old had a not-so-wonderful incident at mother's day out today. Some days are just so hard. He is the sweetest, most sensitive little boy, but at moments he can act like something possessed. Thank you for reminding me that parenting isn't easy and that my life may very well look like my son's does to me...to God. Scarey!
Blessings!

SG said...

MDM An older lady at my church once said that Satan attacks Moms most when getting ready for school and church! I have come to believe she was right! We all have those days. I think only the really good Moms cry about it! ;>

Anonymous said...

Have Kolby call me in a few years. I have a brother that is 2 years younger than me. He could have my mother all melted and laughing and whatever else. Me? I just sucked it up and took whatever was coming my way... that little brother... worthless! When I got him by himself... That's when he learned what suffering really was!

Ok, actually, I always ended up crying but, I thought it made a good story - you know, I make stuff up.

Those youngest children, they just want to make you laugh. (Watch out Rhett, your time is coming to an end!)

Jacinda said...

Great post! Katie & I shared a battle today. I told her I was not going to let a 2 year old dictate my life and that Daddy & I would win. *sigh* She is only 2 but soooo stubborn! I know JUST what you mean about being so frustrated with them but loving them so much it hurts at the same time.

Susie said...

Wow--is it just that time of the week? I had trouble with mine last night--it was awful. I didn't know where my angelic babies were, and they didn't know who this "Conniption Mom" was. Church night, you know--and everyone not feeling their best due to allergies and such . . .
We had a better night tonight. One of the most wonderful things about kids is that they don't hold grudges. They just love to be loved. : )
Cheers!

Susan - said...

Great post SG! What a sweet boy you have. Give him a hug for me.