I don't do bumper stickers

Ever.
I don't like them.
Though given the opportunity MANY times, I don't have any of those white silhouetted sports player or dancer stickers on the back of my car with my child's name below them. Driving around town I think I'm in the minority of parents on that count.

I don't put political, satirical or educational stickers on my bumper. I don't want you to honk for something, vote for someone or shop somewhere because you read it on my bumper. (As if you would!) I choose not to tell any Tom, Dick or Mary who happens to find their car behind mine how I feel about God, life or the world in general with a catchy phrase, logo or pun.

Having represented a German auto maker for several years, I do not think that the bumper of an automobile is the proper place to play comedian, brag, advertise, chide, or preach. It's a bumper. A buffer. It has a purpose and it's not to be a small roving bill board.

But there is an exception to every rule. Even this one.

A few weeks ago I put this bumper sticker on my car.



I admit at first I was not comfortable in doing so because... I just don't do bumper stickers! But when challenged by the question of some anonymous comment thug on my friends blog as to what good these little bumper stickers could do, I had to answer. It surprised even me at first. I'm usually not one to get fired up and take on the anons. and unknowns of the world. But some things are worth fighting for.
This is one of those things.

I have blogged about Kari Baker's death before. (see those posts here, here, here, here and here) You might remember it. I hate (and I don't use that word often) this whole case. It's not something I enjoy thinking about. Honestly, it's not something I even planned to blog about tonight. I almost feel like I should apologize for writing such a heavy post on my usually light hearted blog. Almost... But not quite. This murder case has been weighing heavily on my heart for a while now. It is one of those ugly things that has to be taken on just because it is the right thing to do. And there are children at stake. No matter how uncomfortable it makes me, I feel this case has to be talked about. This weekend it will be talked about.

This Saturday night's episode of CBS's 48 Hours will be dedicated to the mystery surrounding the death of Kari Baker. Many are hoping this national in-depth story will help motivate the local DA to do what has to be done to take the criminal case against Matt Baker before a grand jury and eventually to trial. (The civil trial for the wrongful death lawsuit filed against Mr. Baker by Kari's family will be heard this summer, regardless of what happens in the criminal case.)

I have never personally known any family featured on one of these national "murder/who done it?" news shows before this. I never realized how hard it is for these friends and families to trust their memories, beliefs and feelings to total strangers, not knowing how their words will be edited or what direction the show will take.... Especially when the families (like Kari's) have so much at stake! It is terrifying for them.

However, Kari's family is very strong. I have really come to appreciate and respect Kari's mother through this. She has been so gracious, yet so tenacious during this most painful time in her life. The whole family has lost and sacrificed so much! I can not imagine how hard it is for them to continue this fight. But what choice do they have? Kari is their daughter/sister/cousin/niece. Not even death changes their love for and commitment to her.

AND they have two granddaughters being raised by the man who they believe killed their daughter! A man who at least 9 women have charged with inappropriate sexual behavior or assault. AT LEAST NINE WOMEN! (Actually I think it is 11 women, but I can't remember who those last two are just now.) A former preacher, this man has shown himself to be a liar by contradicting his own statements over and over. Read all the interviews and statements he has made since the beginning and you will see it for yourself. He is a sick man.

I guess it is obvious, but I need to say it.
I truly believe Kari Baker was killed by her husband.
But, I didn't want to believe it. Who would? I tried to believe Matt Baker and go along with the whole suicide thing. But I could never get the woman I had seen with my own eyes to match up with the woman he said killed herself. And no, I didn't know her that well. But I saw her quite often, knew people who knew her, and (this is probably the most motivating factor for me) I had talked to her one on one a time or two about her girls and the death of her second daughter. Our conversations were brief, but I came away knowing that this woman loved her girls. All three of them.

Immediately after Kari died there were so many things that did not make sense to me. I outlined many of those things in that comment I mentioned before. But there are additional things. Things I did not understand then and don't understand now. For instance... Kari told her friends that she thought her husband was having an affair and that he might want to hurt her. Why would she just days later type (and not sign) a suicide note saying how much she loved that same husband and what a great husband and father he was? Would any woman you know do that?

And why would she trust this man (who she thought was unfaithful and wanted to hurt her) to raise her girls? If Kari thought Matt was having an affair, the last thing I see her doing is giving up, taking her life and leaving her girls with him. That does not in any way fit the character of this woman. She was feisty. She was a fighter. She was not afraid to question and challenge. Suicide is cowardly. I never saw Kari Baker as a coward. It just does not fit.

But for me it all comes back to those girls. Kari loved her girls. Having known how much it hurt to tragically and abruptly loose her sweet baby girl Kassidy, Kari would never have killed herself and inflicted that same type of pain on her girls. Never. No mother would, especially not one who loved her children as I know Kari loved hers.

I could go on.
There is much more to say.
My hope and prayer is that one day all the things that need to be said about Kari's death will be said and all the unanswered questions will be will be answered in a court of law. Some day very soon two little girls will learn the truth about their mother...and sadly about their father. And the truth will somehow set them free.
I have to believe it will be so.

Any of you who feel so moved, I ask you to please pray for this family, these girls and this entire sad situation. Keep praying for justice.
Justice for Kari.

P.S. If you see me around town and want a JFK bumper sticker for your own bumper, just ask. I have extras!