Truth in blogging. That's a goal of mine. So to that end I have to say this "happily married mom of two" had a bad night. I am not sure how much to tell or not tell but let me just say it involved Kolby, an entire bottle of Dawn soap, the rest of the bottle of the "fu-fu" foamy hand soap from the guest bathroom, an entire bottle of Spray-Way window cleaner, her bathroom cabinets and floor, and about two hours of clean up... for me. Let me also just say that yesterday when I thought she was playing quietly in her room during her brothers nap, SHE WASN'T!
This morning I had to call the Mom of a little dance class friend and un-RSVP for a birthday party tonight. Breaks my heart because I know how badly Kolby wanted to go...but it's the only consequence we haven't tried. You see this was not the first time this has happened. She really did know better.
Children are precious. I love mine with a capacity and an intensity that astounds even me. There are some hard times though. There are nights, like last night, when I worry that we are not doing the job we should be doing with our kids. Are we too lax? Do we not know how to teach our child to do what is right? Are we warping her for life? Being a parent is one of the most frightening things I have ever done. This is the not fun part of being a Mommy.
Today is a new day. When Kolby got up this morning I gave her the biggest hug and told her how much I love her. We have had a great morning so far, even though yesterdays consequences are still here. No party, no TV, and she has to pay me her allowance today for all the stuff she destroyed. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Kolby is a wonderfully smart and fun little girl. I just pray her recent sneaky,deceptive streak fades away. Literally!
Please let her get it this time Lord. Please help us to be good parents and teach her the hard lessons now while she is young and at home. Help me not to break down and give in because you know how badly I want to! Thank you for this precious little girl. Please help me to be the Mommy she needs.
Truth in blogging. There you have it!
2:20 pm
Postscript Some stories end better than others. Again truth in blogging... Kolby just dumped out a whole thing of Commet cleaner I had accidentally left in her bath room after cleaning up last nights mess. Pray for me and her. This is the ugly side of parenthood. I wish I could ignore this but that would be irresponible parenting....right? Any suggestions?
Lord please help us get through this stage and to go on! Please!
four things | seven
12 hours ago
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10 comments:
My eyes fill with tears as I feel your pain. My kids are grown and I still wonder, did I do it right? Did I mess them up somehow loving them so much, wanting to protect them from hurt and sometimes even from consequences. But they know when they are loved and they will always test their boundaries. You just have to let them try their wings even when they fall on their face. As much as we want to mold them into us, they will become their own lovely person. You have got it together, she will be a wonderful person.
Stephanie, I had to laugh when you wondered if you were warping your daughter....All parents wonder that and search for signs even when children age. If you and Brandon are "warped" I can't find any evidence.
I didn't mean to sound so melodramatic. I just truly cried when I read your post. Now lets all just have a good laugh about the super clean bathroom or whatever you now have in your house. Have a wonderful weekend.
Thanks DJG and Mrs Judy! I really need that Mom encouragement!!! I think Brandon and I are both warped, but in wonderful ways! Thank you for that!DJG~I am glad to know that others have been here and it turned out OK. Your tears are a comfort to me!
I think we do our Savoir an injustice when we candy coat our lives and make them sound easy. God has to work hard to save me from myself. I would hate for anyone to think other wise.
Just think how VERY clean that bathroom is today. At least it wasn't a Sharpie marker! I know you were very frustrated with her, but you are not warping her. I applaud you for un-RSVPing to that party. I know that was hard. It always amazes me when I punish Jonathan for something he KNOWS was wrong, he takes it pretty well. Kolby is very intelligent and knew better, I'll bet she understands her punishment too. Hang in there, school starts soon!
Susan
Bless your heart ~ and Kolby's too! I have been there, not in your shoes, but her's. It's almost as if she's been so good for so long, that all of the little oops moments that wouldn't have been such a big deal are all tumbled together into one HUMONGUS OOPS EXTRAVAGANZA!!! (She was just trying to help clean up, Mom!)I'm sure the guilt is probably there, and she's REALLY sorry about not going to the birthday party ~ man that hurts! If this is the biggest oops, you are all incredibly blessed, for me those moments didn't pile up until after I graduated from High School. I still look back on that summer and shudder with horror at the things I put my parents through! It'll all be ok. Discipline is good, more so for the future young lady I think than the present one. It instills values and morals and ONE DAY you will both look back and laugh. Until then... happy mommying! :)
Greg ~
Oh the things we say in comments! I think "savor, roll and deal" are all usually great peices of advice. I hope my life group venting the other day didn't detract from that.
You of course are right about the "do your best" thing and not giving up. Today has been one of those days when I question if my best is good enough. As I typed that I realized something. That where God comes in. That is why NO ONE should embark on this parenthood journey without God. I feel better! THANKS
I'll be blogging sometime soon about this book my mother-in-law let me borrow just this last weekend -- I think you would LOOOOve it, if you haven't already seen it. "Creative Correction" by Lisa Whelchel. I've used several ideas from it this week with amazing results.
Stick to your guns -- if she misses the party you can pretty much bet she'll never make the same mistake .... it's hard, but it works. Ooooh, parenting is so hard. And there's a looooong way left to go for us both, Lord willing. Hang in there!
Steph, I have no wisdom since I am not a parent. But I have lots of thanks for you for being honest and humble.
Boy--have we had those days. You're doing a great job, friend.
Isn't Lisa Welchel the actress from The Facts of Life?
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