Not exactly creamed corn

Some random "need to get them out" thoughts for this Monday.

Brandon Scott Thomas recently wrote in his blog....

Some days it's easier to blog about creamed corn than it is the harder issues that seem to cover me like a prickly blanket. I think that's ok. Creamed corn is just as much a part of the journey. It's mundane and wonderful. It's family, it's fellowship. Without the creamed corn type of blogs, I'd go insane.

Creamed Corn. I have come to use those words to describe all things "lighter" in life. In blogging I have shared some personal things that are not "creamed corn". However many things that truly define who and where I am in life are not suitable subjects for blogging. This past few days my heart has been weighed down with such things. Last week was such an emotional roller coaster with all that was happening with Deby Evans, school starting, and the day to day drama of trying to get everything done for us and others.

After weeks like last week, I long for some "creamed corn" days. I don't mean to gripe for God has blessed me with a wonderful life. He has given me more than I ever deserve! I am astounded daily at his grace and generosity. I strive for an attitude of gratitude and feel I shouldn't ask for more from our Father God. But I get frustrated with myself. Sometimes I wonder why I am not further along on this journey because I have been so blessed. I do not understand why I let life get me down as I do.

Last week I had some trying times with Miss Kolby. I was not the Mom I should have been and I said and did some things I regret. Rob and I were in survival mode most of the week. Our only talks were short tactical briefs on how to get"A" to "B" with out messing up "C, D & E". Ever been there? I was trying to get all the PTA and church "stuff" done but I wasn't being the Mom or Wife I need to be. Running on fumes but refusing to stop to refuel because there was no time for that! That was my week.

Then Jim preached an excellent sermon Sunday using the story of the woman at the well. Jesus offered her living water. The woman tried to get into a religious discussion about whether her ancestors should or should not worship on a mountain. Jesus then called her back to what mattered and confronted her with the circumstance of her own life and heart. ZING! I so identified with that woman!

Somedays I would rather try to figure out why something at church isn't working and come up with options. I would rather discuss post moderns and the church. I would rather blog about creamed corn. I would rather get into worship issues. BUT the truth is I don't take the time to face the harder issue of the condition of my heart and the circumstances of my life. I found myself crying during Jim's ending prayer. I rarely cry in church and if I do it's just a tear or two. But not yesterday. Before I knew it, I was all the way to ugly cry! It just got to me how much like that woman I felt. How does my heart look to Jesus? My tears were a result of the sad sight I envision my Savoir seeing. I had a "Shallow Hal" type vision of Jesus looking at me and seeing my inner ugliness.

We talked about all this in group last night. It was good. This morning I find myself asking God how to do my week better. How do I not get so caught up in the meetings, appointments and unforeseen obstacles that WILL come up? How do I face the hard issues head on and be disciplined in my servanthood? All these questions I take to the Father.
And He says "My grace is sufficient unto you."
And it is.
So here we go....

Tomorrow I am going to blog about creamed corn!