I would have called 10000 angels...

Thank you for all the prayers for Sari and her work situation after yesterdays post. (Sari wrote the 9th comment to thank you herself yesterday.) It is far from over. Next Tuesday and Wednesday will be big days for her, but I am very proud of how she is handling herself. Your prayers have been felt by us all. I love that we have this prayer cover through blogging. Amazing!

Sari's situation has brought many big thoughts to mind. First, though the day to day things we do are important, our actions in moments of pain are what define us. I told my sister that this week. I said that how she handles this situation will define her character and choose the course her life is to take for a while. When I relate that principle to Jesus and the cross, I am overwhelmed at the love of our Savior.

He was wrongfully accused, his body wreathing in pain and agony, and he prayed for his torturers. Jesus defined himself by loving no matter what. When I feel cheated or wronged, I shine the light of the cross on my situation and am always led to love. No matter how bad things are for me, Jesus had it worse and he chose to love. I think we can choose love as a verb even when we do not feel it as a noun.

My second thought is very close to the first. The bravest, most incredible strength on Earth does not come from anger, hate or revenge but from love. One of my favorite songs growing up was "He could have called ten thousand angels." The real power in those words hit me this week. As I said yesterday, part of me really wanted the people who have brought this storm on my sister to hurt for hurting her. I'm afraid I would have called the 10,000 angels to kick some booty if it had been me on that cross. I was ready to call them for my sister. It's good that God is God and I am not.

In the midst of my fury, I thought about God's command to pray for our enemies. I thought about the cross... Funny how anger melts away in light of the cross. It is hard to demand justice when I think of the wrongs and the sins I have nailed to that cross. I'm no saint. Neither is my sister. I also realize that the people who brought this about are not pure evil and have their own hurts and challenges. So I am praying for them.

My sister has chosen to stand up for what she knows is right and done her best. No matter what happens in life, our best effort and our love is all that is expected of us. I hate that Sari has to face this unfair and painful situation, but there is great comfort in knowing I can go to the Father and pray for my sister and the "enemy" and He will take care of us all in his good time. I truly believe that. No matter what the outcome of this ordeal, I know my sister will be fine.

Those are my thoughts this weekend.

Again, thank you for your prayers. May God bless you with the lessons only His love can teach.

Pray

My dear blog family,
This morning I ask those who are regulars in my blog family to pray for my sister Sari. She is going to be under tremendous pressure for the next few days as she deals with some very heavy work related issues. She will truly need to summons a courage, peace, and strength that can only come from above. Sari is a wonderful kindergarten teacher who loves her students and gives her all to her job. I wish I could say more but I can't. Please do not ask. Just know my over protective big sister fury is alive, well and locked in over drive! It is times like this that I am weak and wish I were in the mob... or queen of the world... I really want someone to hurt for what they have done to my sister, but hurt only begets hurt...right? So if you have a moment, join me in praying that my sister will handle all this well and God,( who we all know is more powerful than the mob and wiser than any earthly ruler), will be glorified. Thank you! Steph

Before & After

Photo Blogging is a great out during writers block! This is the bedroom before and after that I talked so much about in January. What do you think?

Numa Numa Guy

OH and one more shameless plug for the Numa Numa guy... CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK TO THE ORIGINAL VIDEO
or go to Matt Elliott's blog today for the full story. This makes me laugh out loud and smile no matter how many times I see it.
My ya hee! My ya hoooo! My ya hoo! My ya ha ha!

Blah

So much I could say, not much I want to say. BLAH BLAH BLAH

Seems writers block has hit me this week. Or maybe it is the sunshine...Who wants to type when there is a BEAUTIFUL warm sunny spring day just outside the back door!!!
I grieve for so many grieving in our blog family right now.
My mind just can't seem to focus on much.
I want to plant flowers, weed my garden, clean out the garage, and make my yard look a bit more Spring like! Hoping for a bit of Spring energy to go with the Spring ambitions!
I tell you I have had second thoughts (as well as 3rd, 4th 5th, 6th & 7th) about giving up Ice Tea for lent. I really miss my afternoon and mid-morning pick me up glass of tea! I guess that is the point of Lent. Just 23 more days to go!!! :)

Maybe the blog bug will bite again soon. Do you ever have days/weeks where all you care to type is BLAH BLAH BLAH??

I'll probably just be lurking and commenting on your sites this week . Off to start my spring cleaning! Peace out!
:)

A snob

K: Mom what is a snob?

M: A person who is snooty.

K: What does snooty mean?

M: Being snooty is when you act like you are better than some one else, or when you look down your nose at other people.

K: You mean some people can really see down their noses?

M:Apparently so.

So how long do I let her think that snobs are people whose eyes can see down their noses?

The other half of 100

The random list continues...
51. I am not competitive. I don’t like competition and I can’t stand it when people turn non-competitive things into a competition.
52. I had two major kidney surgeries (1 at 2 years and 1 at 12 years). I had my tonsils out at age 6. I was put in the hospital several different times with the flu, kidney complications, and once with food poisoning. SO life total with babies, I have been in the hospital 12 times.
53. I love color and can not decide what my favorite is… deep reds and blues I think.
54. There are no white walls in my house.
55. My favorite poet is Shel Silverstein.
56. I know it is unpopular in Christian circles but I still really admire & watch Oprah.
57. I do not get reality TV.
58. My favorite shows however are the reality based…Trading Spaces and Extreme Makeover Home Edition.
59. I also like Alias but I never seem to remember to watch it. I do not watch TV very often at all.
60. I used to scrapbook.
61. I quit scrap-booking because it just overwhelmed me! I have a closet full of scrap-booking items that I hope to return to someday.
62. I am very independent and always have been.
63. Those who know me really well find it comical that I live across the street from my parents because I am so independent!
64. I love to paint , install things, build things and tear things down.
65. My husbands first Christmas present to me after we married was a Black & Decker five piece tool set…and I was not mad.
66. I mowed the lawn once when Rob was in Atlanta for two weeks.
67. I do not like to mow the yard.
58. I like to dig in the dirt and plant things. I am not good at maintaining plants however so there is a plant grave yard behind our shed.
69. I like too cook if I don’t have to cook.
70. I would rather cook for 12 than 2.
71. I love the grocery store if I am by myself.
72. I can’t stand the grocery store when my kids are with me, but I do it anyway.
73. I have always been allergic to exercise.
74. I can roller blade, ice skate, water ski, snow ski, swim, golf and bike but it seems like I never do these things anymore!
75. I don’t like to sweat because I am not a graceful sweat-er. I get all red faced and ugly when I sweat.
76. I melt in heat that is humid.
77. I love snow.
78. I live in the wrong state for my weather preferences.
79. I am a slow reader, but I really like to read.
80. I love chicken salad.
81. I love almost anything that comes out of a bakery.
82. I drive a mini-van and am da** proud of it! (Yes, I caved and edited it out!)
83. I love being involved in PTA.
84. I love playing scrabble, spades and hearts… and admit I can be a bit competitive when it comes to these games.
85. I never took typing but can hunt and peck close to 60 wpm.
86. I love to sing , but I’m not sure it is fun for those who hear me!
87. If I could have one realistic wish… it would be to have the house to myself for two weeks so I could organize and clean out years of stuff!
88. I am an all or nothing kind of girl. I either do something all the way or not at all.
89. The best thing I ever did outside of giving my life to Christ was to say "yes!" when my husband proposed! (Which he did under the influence of major pain killers:) He had just come out of shoulder surgery!)
90. Rob really is the better half of this marriage!
91. I love to take naps and sleep late.
92. I am a night owl by nature.
93. I get carsick easily.
94. I love to fly! I love to travel!
95. Summer nights are my favorite time ever.
96. I do not tan well, I just burn and peel.
97. I do not color my hair but am asked regularly if I do. ???
98. My favorite perfume is Miracles by Lancôme.
99. I left Estee Lauder for drug store products… but I hope to return someday.
100. I like to blog but, I like to read other people's blogs more!

It took me way too long to come up with this list!!!

Half my list of 100

Lately I have noticed a trend in blogworld to post a list of 100 things about oneself. 100 THINGS!!! I resisted for a while but , reluctantly came up with a list in two parts. Here is half of a very random, in no order of importance, list of 100 things about me...
1. I have been a member of a church of Christ most all my life.
My home churches:
2. Johnson Street C of C, San Angelo, Texas 1970 - 1996
3. Southern Hills C of C, Abilene, Texas 1988- 89
4. Highland C of C, Abilene, Texas 1989 -1993
5. Eastleigh C of C, Nairobi, Kenya, Summer of 91 & 92
6. Golf Course Road C of C, Midland, Texas 1996
7. Southlake C of C, Southlake, Texas March 1997 - Dec 2001
8. Crestview C of C , Waco, Texas 2002 to present.
9. I lived in the same house from age 2 until my parents moved across town when I was 21, except college.
10. I was never the new kid in school . I went to 1 elementary school ~ Travis, 1 Junior High ~ Glenn, 1High school ~ Central,
and 2 Colleges ~ ACU & ASU.
11. I was baptized between the 3rd & 4th grade after sleepless nights at church camp in Brady, Texas fearing that God would come if I went to sleep and I would go to HE**. My parents wanted me to wait until I got home from camp to be baptized . They didn't want me scared into baptism.
12. The Sunday after camp our preacher, Bill Young baptized me. I was still a little scared!
13. I grew up thinking that Baptist and Methodist were "different religions" and Catholics had a different God! ( So embarrassing! Surely part of this was just little girl confusion!)
14. I clearly remember debates during lunch at my elementary school with a Baptist boy about Jesus not being born on Christmas and REAL Christians not using instruments in church! (So sorry BRATCHER! ) That same boy was my one of my best friends from 5th grade on and an usher in our wedding. (Hi Scott!)
15. I have one sister who is beautiful... and single!!! I was 8 ½ when she was born.
16. I tried to sell my sister on blogger because I want a brother-in-law & nieces and nephews!
17. I always wanted an older bother. Mom had a miscarriage before me so I decided I had an older brother who ...Didn't make it!
18. I thrived on DRAMA growing up! Can ya' tell?
19. My Dad was an only child and he was adopted.
20. My cousin Robby told me my Dad was adopted when I was 9. For some odd reason it rocked my world!
21. Since age 9 , I have seen strangers on the street that looked like my Dad and wondered if they were my aunt or uncle.
22. I used to fantasize that somehow through my Dad I was related to Julie Andrews and/ or Laura Ingalls Wilder.
23. At age 22 I found out who my Dad's birth mother was but she had died two years earlier. She never had any other children. We think my Dads birth father's name was Ben Davis. We only know his name.
24. I wonder if I will meet my birth grandparents in Heaven.
25. My Mom has one sister, Thomasue. She was my favorite person growing up. I have four first cousins who all live in Waco, go to church at Crestview, and are like my siblings. Their children (4 and counting) are like my nieces and nephews.
26. I love my family... All of them!!!
27. I met my husband on someone else's blind date at an all night Soft-ball tourney hours after declaring to friends that I was no longer worried about finding the "ONE" & wanted to enjoy being single for a few more years.
28. Rob and I knew at least a dozen of the same people well for years before ever meeting or hearing of each other.
29. We met on July 15th, were talking marriage by August, and were engaged on October 19th.
30. After a 10 month engagement, we married on my grandparents 55th wedding anniversary 3 blocks from where they were married!
31. Honeymooned at Walt Disney World ~ the best vacation ever!!!
32. In our first year of marriage we moved 5 times, both changed jobs, lost my Grandfather and got pregnant! What a year!!!
33. I learned to drive a stick shift on a brand new 911 at Porsche Training in Reno Nevada.
34. I have been to LA three times but can't remember anything but the convention center and hotel... same for Chicago.
35. My favorite city is New York! I have been there 9 times and would go tomorrow if I could. The last time I was in New York, I was 5 months pregnant with Rhett.
36. I am not a picky person 98% of the time. Picky people peeve me, but only when they are snotty about it! :-)
37. I was a Fiesta Del Concho Ambassador for San Angelo in the summer of 1989.
38. I was the Spiritual Life Committee Chair on ACU senate for 3 years. AKA "the spiritual life chick!"
39. My Swahili nick name was Nweli Mingi ~ which roughly translates BIG HAIR!
40. I have spent more time in the Indian Ocean than any other.
41. I have ADD. Again ~ Can't ya tell?
42. I love to plan parties for my kids, family, church, PTA ~ I think I should have been an event coordinator.
43. I used to say I wanted to be a lawyer when I grew up, but really, I have always wanted to be a stay-home Mom.
44. I had three main obsessions growing up: Donnie & Marie, Little House on the Prairie, and Days of Our Lives.
45. I loved to cook at a very early age and brought my Mom breakfast in bed (that I had cooked) around age 3. Really!
46. I used to dress up like a maid and clean and clean when I was little. I LOVED to clean back then.
47. My husband wishes I would return to the pastimes of my youth (see #45 & #46)
48. I have a severe phobia of tests and have been known to break out in hives and puke repeatedly on the way to an exam.
49. I was in 10 wrecks between ages 16 and 26 and was never hurt.
50. History always was and is still my favorite subject.

Sweet Tea, Lent and Daffodils

I grew up in (and still go to) a Church of Christ, so to me "lent" was just something you cleaned off the air filter in the dryer. Around age 21, I came to the untraditional church of Christ belief that Christmas was just as good a time as any to celebrate Christ's birth. In fact, I decided to celebrate the fact that so many in the world cared enough about Christ to want to celebrate his birth.I still love the whole Santa HO HO HO thing, but Christ is a part of my Christmas.

After putting Christ in Christmas I guess the next step in the natural progression was to put the East back in Easter??? :) Just a few years ago I decided my Easter had to be about more than Chocolate bunnies and egg hunts. This year for the first time I decided to celebrate, or at least participate in, the season of Lent. (Not at all to be confused with the season of "lint" which involved a bird making a nest in our dryer vent last fall another blog.)

My husband grew up Catholic, so he has helped me with this a little. I have gone online and studied Lent. I have tried to fast (although I forgot and ate meat one Friday) and for the first time ever, I gave something up for Lent. AND Lent, as it turns out, is a long time! Ash Wednesday to Good Friday, or February 9th to March 25th this year. I gave up sweet tea, well actually all forms of tea.

This has been a bigger challenge than I thought. Over the past year I have developed an ice tea habit. Everyday, or almost everyday, sometimes even twice a day, I pull through Bush's on Hewitt Drive for a large, 50cent, 32oz., ice tea. Sweet, unsweet half-n-half or Nutra-sweetened, I love ice tea!!! There are very few, if any days that I do not go down Hewitt Drive past Bush's Tea... I mean Bush's Chicken. That sweet tea has been calling to me! But I needed to cut back on caffeine and I wanted my first Lent to mean something. Any guesses as to what I will bring to Easter Dinner this year?:)

I'm not sure exactly what you are supposed to do when you give something up for Lent, but everytime I think about tea, I try to say a little prayer asking Jesus to fill me instead and renew my love and zeal for his body. Today I was in the worst mood because circumstances beyond my control kept me from eating lunch with some good friends. Just as I hung up the phone from canceling, I passed Bush's. I said my "instead of tea prayer" and my mood was 100 times better, my heart lighter and my outlook rosier. Funny how even the smallest sacrifices are rewarded when your heart is right! Is this what Lent is supposed to do?

I am not saying that I think the Church of Christ has been wrong not to observe Lent. I'm not saying that every Christian must observe Lent. But for me, it has been a good thing. Any others out there experiencing Lent for the first time?
These are not my daffodils, just illustrations to the story!
On a totally separate note I just spent $10 on a dozen little daffodils for the front yard! Each year I add a few more plants so eventually the front beds will be covered. I love the cheery greeting these flowers give as I pull in our drive! YEAH! I love SPRING ~ new starts, new flowers, new growth!

Spring fever has hit!!

The Good Enough Mom

Just wondering... Have you seen the newest Newsweek? It is chalk full of articles of interest to me. I love this one about a "Slacker Mom" who refuses to join the rat race.


And how many of you can relate to this one by Judith Warner about Perfect Madness- Mothers in the Age of Anxiety? Do you agree with her conclusions? I'm not sure I do, but I thnk she is right about women my age and feelings of being overwhelmed.

Then there is an Anna Quindlin article called The Good Enough Mom. My favorite part Quindlin's article:

There's the problem with turning motherhood into martyrdom. There's no way
to do it and have a good time. If we create a never-ending spin cycle of
have-tos because we're trying to expiate senseless guilt about working or not
working, trying to keep up with the woman at school whose kid gets A's because
she writes the papers herself, the message we send our children is terrible. By
our actions we tell them that being a mom—being their mom—is a drag, powered by
fear, self-doubt and conformity, all the things we are supposed to teach them to
overcome. It just becomes a gloss on that old joke: Enough about me. What about
you? How do you make me feel about myself? The most incandescent memories of my
childhood are of making my mother laugh. My kids did the same for me. A good
time is what they remember long after toddler programs and art projects are
over. The rest is just scheduling.

OUCH! That one hit me right between the eyes! Being a Mom is hard at times, but do we make it harder than it has to be? It is also supposed to be fun. What do you think???

Church

I love my church. My whole life I have been an active and willing church member. Lately though I seem to want a little distance from church. There is nothing wrong with my church family. I have great friends and family there. I love our preacher. There are lots opportunities to be involved. My kids and husband love our church. We know we belong there. But truth in blogging... Sometimes I feel sort of distant from church. Sometimes I don't want to go. Even when I know I need to go. Even when I feel like I need to draw nearer to the Father. Even when I know everyone there loves me and wants nothing but the best for me... Part of me just dreads church. Why is this? It seems that when I need God the most, I am most intimidated and least likely to want to go to church.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel most exposed when at church? I truly do not think it has anything to do with my church family, but church is sometimes where I feel the most vulnerable, the most guilty, the most self loathsome, and the most unworthy. I know that God, my Church leaders, and my friends and family at church do not want want me to feel this way. I know this is a struggle I have to come to terms with because I need to be involved and active in the body. I know that I am the only one who can talk myself in to or out of the church doors. However, knowing all this does not always help me want to go to church. Have you ever felt this way? What do you do?

Now please, if you go to my church don't phone the elders or Jim or worry that I am going to drop off the roll or out of the pews. I'm not going anywhere. I don't want ot go anywhere else. I just think that as Christians we can't always paint our lives in Pollyanna tones and act like we never struggle with parts of our faith. I struggle with this. I am struggling with this now. I love my God, and I love my church, but I struggle with my attitude towards going sometimes.

I share this because I do not think I am alone. In fact, in talking with some friends recently, I think that there are quite a few people (not just in my church or even denomination, but in all churches) who struggle with this. I know that many people love everything about church and have never struggled with anything like this. This post is not for those people. But, I also know that there are many people reading this who love their churches and have dealt with this before. No church bashing please, that is not the point here. I am just asking what do you do when you feel yourself struggling with church?


Just a reminder, anon. comments are allowed here! Saying a prayer that I don't regret this post!!! Too much truth in blogging?? We'll see!

The pitter patter of ....

There is another baby boom going on amongst my friends and family. I'm sidelined for this round of babies, and may retire from the game before "going in" again. It has me thinking about all the "what if's". Not that this will ever happen, officially we have said we are done, but if I were to get pregnant in the next year and deliver in the next 18 months...

~ I would be 40 with a four year old.

~ Kolby would be eight years older and graduating from High School before the third would be in 5th grade.

~ I would be the oldest Mom in MOPS.

~ We would no longer have a guest bedroom.

~ I would be (shudder, shudder) 54 when the youngest graduated from High School!

~ I would have children at Spring Valley Elementary for 14 straight years!

~ We would have kids in college (ACU = $$$$ = Retiring at 100) for 12 straight years~no overlap if each graduated in 4 years.

~ I would have been pregnant for 30 months or 2.5 years of my life, not including miscarriages.

~ I have two potty trained children.... dare I ever go back?

I am beginning to see why Rob is "complete" with two. Is it a woman thing to mourn the fact that there will never be another baby growing and kicking inside of you? Is it just crazy that I still look at the newborn section of clothing stores first? Do I feel this way because both of my babies seemed to be so big by six months? Am I supposed to feel at peace with this? My maternal clock is winding down and it makes me a little sad. How do you know for sure when you are "done"? Is there ever peace in that or will I wonder my whole life "what if?"

Just some of the thoughts pitter-pattering around in my head today!

I never

Thinking about a game that's going over on Vals blog, and a list thing that started on Jenni's blog today, I decided to write down my list of "I Nevers", or "I've Nevers" for those so inclined. To play this in the real world you hold up ten fingers and go around a circle of friends telling things you have never done. Everytime you have done one of the things that someone says they have never done, you put a finger down. You go until only one person has fingers or a finger left up. That person is the winner. For blog purposes, I will just list my I nevers. Feel free to play along....

I've never broken a bone.
I've never sung a solo on a stage with an audience.
I've never been on a military base.
I've never owned a suburban.
I've never owned a truck.
I've never been to Seattle.
I've never been to Washington DC.
I've never smoked a cigarette.
I've never drunk a whole beer.
I've never had my ears pierced.
I've never been to Boston.
I've never bought anything at Abercrombie.
I've never made a red velvet cake.
I've never met the President.
I've never been to Hawaii.
I've never had perfect attendance in anything.
I've never been arrested.
I've never been in jail.
I've never been burglarized.
I've never been stoned.
I've never been drunk...But I have been to tipsy-ville several times.
I've never been completely finished with the laundry...and doubt this ever happens in my lifetime.
I've never cheated on my husband.
I've never wanted to cheat on my husband.
I've never been to Nashville.
I've never read War and Peace. AND I've never wanted to read War & Peace.
I never saw "The Passion" in the movie theater. (I know, I know, I'm Sorry!!! )
I've never eaten at PF Changs.
I've never caught a bridal Bouquet.
I've never been completely skinny dipping.
I've never witnessed a live human birth, besides the birth of my own kids. (Though I have seen a goat, a horse and a litter of puppies "come out")
I've never voted for a Democrat in a presidential election. (Three Bushes and a Dole so I'm 2 for 2. Fair 'nuff! )
I've never voted straight party.
I've never played Basketball on a team.
I've never run for fun.
I've never ordered a steak. (well, chicken fried but that was long ago and doesn't count)
I've never had anchovies on pizza.
I've never been up in a hot air balloon.
I've never been to China.
I've never hitch-hiked.
I've never been to a Nas-Car race.
I've never been snow boarding.
I've never paid more than $100 for a pair of shoes.
I've never paid more than $45 for an entree.
I've never had craw-dad.
I've never tasted veal.
I've never killed an animal... but I have whacked a few spiders and creepy crawlies.
I've never ordered a strait cup of coffee.
I've never understood why anyone would join the KKK.
I've never understood why it is fashionable for underwear to hang out of your jeans.
I've never parasailed, but strangely enough, I dream about it from time to time.
I've never been passed the border towns into Mexico.

AND FOR FUN (don't put any fingers down)
I've never forgotten a toothless Mexican woman trying to sell us her brand new baby boy in Guadalahara when I was 7.
I've never stopped having nightmares about my very mean 6th grade teacher -Mrs. Nelda Powell.
I've never been happier than when I brought my sweet babies home for the first time.
I've never enjoyed five days as much as I did our Honeymoon at Walt Disney World.
I've never watched The Little Mermaid with out getting misty eyed when she leans over the ship to kiss her Dad after she is married. AND I've never admitted that to anyone before now.
I've never thought this hard about all the things I have never done.



So how many fingers do you have up?


To be continued.....

Sweetheart

This picture from Kolby's party last Friday came from my good friend Susan. Check out her blog today for some adorable pictures, if I do say so myself!

Happy Heart Day!

Reading ~~~~~
EmilyDickinson
22
I gave myself to him,
And took himself for pay.
The solemn contract of a life
Was ratified this way
The value might disappoint,
Myself a poorer prove
Than this my purchaser suspect,
The daily own of Love
Depreciates the sight;
But, 'til the merchant buy,
Still fabled, in the isles of spice
The subtle cargoes lie.
At least, 'tis mutual risk,—
Some found it mutual gain;
Sweet debt of Life,—each night to owe,
Insolvent, every noon.

Listening to ~~~~~~~
Valentine (Martina Mcbride)
If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still hear you
If there were no tears
No way to feel inside
I'd still feel for you
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
All of my life
I have been waiting for
All you give to me
You've opened my eyes
And showed me how to love unselfishly
I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
But in my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time...
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine
And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

Dining on ~~~~~~
Hot Spinach Artichoke Dip
Shrimp Toast
Grilled Rasberry Chipolte Pork Tenderloin with Special Rice,
Bacon-wrapped Green Beans,
Summer Salad with Almonds and Crispies,
And a Peanut Butter Pie

Ahhh! Happy Heart Day!!!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

We are recovering from Kolby's big birthday weekend. The party Friday night was really fun. The most special part of the whole weekend for me was having my good friend Susan (aka SJ) come in from Arkansas with her boys. Kolby was elated to open the door and see her good buddy Jonathan! It was a wonderful surprise for her, and a treat for all of us! Just last week Kolby said "Susan is friend who is an aunt." Yes, that sums it up well for me, Susan is a friend who is a sister. Feel free to move back to Texas anytime Ms Susan & family!

The stomach bug has decided to pay me a visit today. It seems to be a rather mild bug. THANK YOU!

Must go help Kolby with her Valentines.

So much going on in blog world this weekend. I am glad to have you all here to share with and learn from. I love this BLOG thing! I hope you enjoy being with someone you love today!

To Kolby on her seventh birthday

This is a few days early but I felt moved to write it out now.

Dear Kolby,

I will never forget the warm afternoon in June when I ran to Alberston’s on 183 and Browntrail in Hurst,Texas on my way home from work to make a very important purchase. . . a home pregnancy test. I bought several not realizing that there were 2 in a box. I also had one in the car that I had taken from the defunked "teen help closet" at work. I remember waiting for your Daddy to leave to help with VBS. I told him I would come later as I was having some stomach issues... little did he know!

He had barely closed the front door when I ran in the bathroom and took the first two tests. (I wanted to be sure.) IMEDIATELY the lines started forming. I checked the box.
Oh my, that can’t be right! I’ll take another.
And another…and another… Twenty minutes later there was a line of several pregnancy tests laid out on the bath tub. All said the same thing ~ BABY! I was really late to VBS that night.

Over the next nine months our lives changed dramatically. Two months after that June day when we learned you were coming, we celebrated our first anniversary by closing on a house. I just couldn’t have a baby in an apartment! (Why? I don’t remember!) Pregnancy was not what I expected, but we couldn't wait to meet you! I quit work on February 2nd and was put on bed rest that same day. Eight days later my "elephant" ankles and rising blood pressure convinced the doctor to help you along. I was admitted to the hospital at 6:30pm on the 10th to be induced on the 11th.

I cried the whole night before you were born because the nurses didn’t believe me when I said you were coming. They had just given me a sleeping pill at 11pm when my water broke. But the nurse kept saying that I was fine and they would induce in the morning. We knew differently, didn’t we! Around 4:30am when the nurse came in to check on me, I tearfully told her it felt like there was a potato between my legs. She ran over and threw back the covers…"OH MY! YOU ARE CROWNING!!!!"

When Dr. Gordon said "It’s a girl!" I was so happy. Somehow I think I had always known you were a girl. We met face to face around 5:00am. It was a perfect moment. In all my life I had never felt so loved and blessed as I did holding you with your Daddy’s arm in mine and your Mama K looking on in awe and wonder. You were a perfectly pink and alert little baby girl. My speechless heart cried tears of joy in a prayer of complete and total thanks.
2-11-98, Sara Kolby Grosz, 8 hours old.

An hour or so later when everyone had met you and they cleaned you up, I felt the first of many a "Mommy fear." I was terrified when they said it was time for me to nurse you, but you knew just what to do! It was the first time your confidence and ability would squelch my fears. You have done that many times over the last seven years.
Kolby on her first Birthday.

The first years with you were just fun and love while learning how to be both Wife and Mommy. There were some real hard and scary times, but as long as you and Daddy were ok, my world was right. Those days were so precious that I took about two rolls of film a week trying to remember every detail. People often kidded that you might get a "flash burn" from my camera happy habits. Everyday you seemed to grow and change. It was (and still is) an amazing thing to watch. You made your Daddy and I feel like a real family. You were then, as you are today, our little doll and drama queen! Back then my passion in life was dressing you up and showing you off! You were quite the little performer… as long as it was on your terms.

Age two on her big girl bed!

I tell you all this because in my heart when I look at your barely seven-year-old, freckle-faced smile, I sometimes see that precious wide-eyed, alert, perfectly pink baby I met so early one February morning. You will always be my baby girl! The older you get the more amazed and blessed I feel that God chose me to be your Mom. I am still in awe of the incredible little girl that I see before me. I love you so very, very much. You are smart, strong, funny and so loving and sweet. Your future is incredibly bright. As you continue to grow in the knowledge and love of our Father God, I pray that your heart will always stay with him. I know you will be able to accomplish all He sets before. God has a great plan for you Miss Kolby Sue!

September 12, 2001 Rhett's 2nd day home from the hospital. Kolby is 3 years 7 months & 1day old.

I will always be here cheering you on and loving you with a love I never knew possible. Time with you is priceless to me. I hope you never out grow Eskimo kisses or snuggling with your Mommy! But if you do… we will have lots of memories of Mommy/Daughter time together. Happy Birthday my beautiful, precious baby girl! I love you!!

Mommy
February 2005
Kolby now!

Are your ears burning?

I read an article about us in the paper Sunday. You can read it here. Seems we bloggers are growing in number by the hour. The Waco Tribune Herald ran the story under the title "Tales from the crib ~ Blogs by parents revel in self absorption."
Self-absorption? I started to take issue with that, but I can't. It's true. We bloggers talk about ourselves a lot. We report funny stories about our days. It's all about us... Or is it? Most of the blogs I read have a very spiritual tone. Man we are bad... totally absorbed in God and family! What is the world coming to?
My next reaction was why single out parents? There are blogs about business, politics, entertainment... Everything! Why is it so unusual for a national pastime (blogging is number 5 now) to focus around parenting? My, my, my, these are treacherous times we live in! :)
I think blogging about kids, God, and family is healthy, especially when you consider all the other things one could blog about. So blog on my fellow bloggers, Blog On! Though I'm preaching to the choir, I just wanted to give you heads up.... they're talking about us!

P.S. When will the blog spell check learn to recognize the word BLOG? AND I actually did enjoy the article. It was just the sub-title that gave me pause.

Options

This morning in our living room...

Me : Rhett you need to tidy up a bit and spread your bed. (My kids call it that, don't know why.)
Rhett: Mommy that is not a option.... I have two options, watch Rolly Polly Ollie and play with my super heroes.
Me: (Biting my tongue to keep from laughing.) Excuse me Rhett. What did you say?
Very determined and slightly annoyed at having to repeat himself, Rhett slowly and distinctly said "Cleaning is not a option today."

I totally agree with his words, just not his meaning!
One can only imagine what conversations in our house have sounded like when the three year old starts using the word "options." Love and Logic anyone?

Thanks

I wanted to briefly thank you, my fellow bloggers, for all the words of encouragement in comments and e-mails after yesterdays post. You guys build me up! I love this blog thing!!!
AND I wanted to direct you to Val's blog today. But a word of warning, grab a box of Kleenex as you go. Val is one of the most talented writers/bloggers/people around. Highland may not have a full time worship minister, but they have Val, who only lacks the title, office and church paid salary!

A stepping stone...

The sun is shining for the first time all week (YEAH!) and I have a long list of things to do while Rhett and McKenna are at Mothers Day Out. But, I need to share a few thoughts first...

Last night Rob and I visited a class at church based on the book Sacred Parenting. Since it was my first time in this class and since I do not have the book, I felt as if I was walking in on the middle of a conversation. I planned to just listen and glean as much as a "visitor' can. But last nights class hit on something deep inside me, something that I have let slide recently.

The discussion focused on the joys of parenting and encouraging your children. I came away very mindful of how encouragement is just as important as discipline and accountability. It is easy to loose sight of that, not just in parenting, but in all relationships.

I am not a natural encourager, though I wish I was. I love to be around people who are naturally encouraging. I have to really think about it though and make a conscience concentrated effort. Encouragers lift others up for the good in them. Maybe with more thoughtful practice, encouraging will become more habitual if not natural for me. I want to be a better encourager.

The class also got me thinking about those who have really encouraged me. Gratefully, my list of encouragers is pretty long. But there is one who stands out from all the rest, Thomas Caskey Livingston, my Granddaddy.

Though he died eight years ago this March, my Grandfather is still one of the most influential encourager and supporters in my life. He truly loved me no matter what. Even though it was embarrassing at the time, my Granddaddy bragged and bragged about my accomplishments to anyone who would listen ~ whether I truly merited bragging or not. My Granddad always treated me like I was someone really special. He could see past all my shortcomings and flaws, even when I couldn't.

In college when I struggled with what I thought were earth-shattering, life-ruining mistakes and circumstances, my Granddaddy grinned and told me not to put much stock in my troubles. He said I was going to be just fine. He seemed to have no doubt. His belief in me helped me to believe in myself. He wrote me several letters of encouragement saying that I was bigger and more important than any class I dropped or any wrong committed.

His letters were always encouraging, never rebuking or judgmental. Believe me, he had every right and opportunity to focus on my flaws and press me to mend my ways, but he never did. He just loved and believed in me. Looking back, that had to have been hard for him, but he never let on. I really miss him. I wish my kids could have known him. I married a guy who reminds me a lot of my Granddaddy in the way he loves and encourages me. I'm very blessed!

Granddaddy had a favorite poem that he quoted a lot. All six of his grandchildren know it by heart...

Isn't it strange that Princes and Kings,
And clowns that caper in saw dust rings,
And plain ole folk, just like you and me,
Are all builders of eternity
To each is given a book of rules,
A shapeless mass, and a bag of tools,
And each must make ere life is flown,
A stumbling block, or a stepping stone.

My grandfather heard this poem at an early age and took it to heart. Caskey Livingston was not a perfect man, but he was a stepping stone for me and many others. Even when his business failed and he had to start all over at an age that many men retire, he didn't let life get him down. He encouraged and loved people in a way that only a man possessed by Christ can love. I could not hope for more than to be the kind of "stepping stone" my grandfather was in the lives of his loved ones.... Especially since it seems everyone he knew became one of his loved ones! He made a great stepping stone.

Lord, Thank you for Granddaddy and all the "stepping stones" you have so generously placed in my path! Help me to become that same rock of encouragement in the lives of others. And thank you for your perfect, building love. Amen


May you have a blessed, and "Son" filled day!

Hold on!

When the weight of all my dreams
Is resting heavy on my head
And the thoughtful words of help and hope
Have all been nicely said
But I'm still hurting, wondering if I'll ever be the one
I think I am - I think I am
Then you gently re-remind me
That You've made me from the first
And the more I try to be the best
The more I get the worst
And I realize the good in me is only there because of who You are
Who You are...
And all I ever have to be is what
You've made me
Any more or less would be a step out of Your plan
As you daily recreate me
Help me always keep in mind
That I only have to do what I can find
And all I ever have to be
All I have to be
All I ever have to be is what
You've made me!
Lyrics by Amy Grant, Word Music 1980

As I said the other day, the music of Amy Grant has seen me through many a trial and triumph in life. At times when it felt like the roof was caving in, this song gave me hope. This song came to mind thinking about a friend who feels the weight of the world on her shoulders right now. This blog is for her. I hope she reads it!

I have been where you are so many times and felt that all encompassing heaviness that saturates to the bone. I have felt my head swirl so fast in a cloud of fear and doubt that my stomach churned and I literally was taken to the floor with nausea. "Where are you, God?" you cry out.
He is right here the spirit says. Did you hear him? Grab that salvation that Jesus died to give you and HOLD ON!
He is right here! Just keep moving forward and hold on tight.
When it has been cold and dark for so long that the light of day seems like a distant evasive dream, HOLD ON!
All you ever have to be is what HE made you, HOLD ON!
The Savior isn't finished with you yet, HOLD ON!
The best is yet to be, HOLD ON!
You are never as alone as you may feel. He is with you. It will get better. HOLD ON!

The greatest thing about growing older is learning that God truly is faithful and that everything is temporal, outside of God's love and Christ's sacrifice! Eventually the clouds will lift and the sun will shine. Even the worst storms have an ending. SO HOLD ON!
You are never so deep in darkness that the blood of Christ can't find you. He will never give up on you, even if you give up on him. Just hold on! HOLD ON!

Dear Lord
Please shelter my sweet friend. She has done wrong and she knows it. She is remorseful and hurting. She has been wronged and it seems life is falling apart around her. She has lost many a battle and she is tired of fighting. Lord, please fight for her! Please wrap her in your loving arms and hold on to her until this storm passes. Just hold on! I ask this in the name of your son Jesus, Amen.

Gray Rainy Day

Rhett: Mommy I don't want to go to school today.
Me: Why not?
Rhett: It's too cold.
Me: You're right! If you want to stay home you can.
(After all it is only Mother's Day Out and this Mother would rather stay in today!)
Rhett: Horray, no school !!! (Then sort of in awe and still excited...) You can hear me Mom. You really can hear me!

So is he saying I don't listen to him?

Hallelujah Honky Tonk

Saturday night I went to the Amy Grant/Vince Gill Concert with three girlfriends. The last time I was at an Amy Grant concert I was in high school. I thought about how much both our lives (Amy Grant's life and mine) have changed since then. We have both married, had babies, and ditched leather pants. She of course had the whole divorce, marriage wrecker, selling out thing going on ~ I didn't.

Ms. Grant has had a great deal of influence on me over the years. I was only 7 (Kolby's age) or 8 when I first heard Amy Grant sing "The Lord has a Will." She was 16.

I loved her music all through Jr High and High School. My youth minister had a crush on her and I remember watching a reel to reel movie about her life at a Jr High devo. (yes before video tapes and DVD's were so prevalent) I tried to look just like her when she came out in leather and hot pink leopard in my early high school days. Does anyone remember that album cover!?

She had her first daughter Millie when I was 20. Millie is now 15 ~ Ouch! I danced through many a diaper change with Kolby singing the song Amy wrote for Millie, "Baby Baby!" Now I have never been the picture-taking-autograph-getting kind of person, but I consider myself an Amy Grant fan. I loved singing along with her Saturday night partly because it brought back so many memories. Thanks Amy for all the great tunes over the years!

Then there was Vince Gill... To quote my friend Kris, "I bet he was a real pill growing up!" But what a great performer! A bit of a stinker. It seemed weird to hear "It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your a** out all day long" sung from the same stage as "My Father's Eyes."

The Vince portion of the show reminded me of my honky-tonking two-stepping summers in San Angelo. I was a good girl, but I will always have a little saw dust in my blood. There is just something about two-steppin' to George Strait across a saw-dust filled floor in west Texas that stays with you. You can take the girl out of west Texas, but you can't take west Texas out of the girl!

The dynamic duo closed with a duet from their Christmas show "Give me Jesus." Fernado Ortega would have been proud! I have been singing the song ever since. I heard a lady in front of me say how wrong she thought it was for Vince to sing something spiritual after "raising hell" all night long. I actually thought it was pretty cool. Something must be wrong with me.

The concert was a trip back in time on many levels. Am I getting old? My friends and I debated this over Starbucks before the show (not after...Yes we are showing our age!) and decided that the "30" years are a time of great introspection. Maybe so... I'm fine with that if it means many more fun concert filled Saturday nights!

All Skate!

I am working on plans for Kolby's birthday party. We are renting a church activity center. This church has rollerskates for kids from kindergarten through adult, so we are turning their gym into a roller rink. (We are truly getting our moneys worth out of that mirror ball I bought a few years back!) ANY WAY, I am trying to make a list of fun songs to skate to and have burned on a CD.

Below is my list so far, (which totally dates me!!!) but I want suggestions! I just can't think of skating songs?? Help me blog friends! What do you think a bunch of 5-8 year olds would enjoy skating to? What did you skate to once upon a time? I need help!

1. YMCA
2. Boppydoo ("Trashing the Camp" from Tarzan)
3. Various from The Kim Possible &The Ella Enchanted Soundtrack
4. Disco Duck
5. Hokey Pokey
6. We will, We will Rock You

Red Velvet Cake ~ The Recipe

Those of you who read this blog know that this is not my favorite cake. This recipe however is the best Red Velvet Cake I have ever eaten. I am posting the recipe because a while back I got an e-mail request from a reader(still amazes me that people actually do read this) for a Red Velvet Cake Recipe. She wanted to make one for her mothers Valentine Birthday. I was going to reply, but somehow the e-mail was erased and I do not lnow who she was. So, I am posting the recipe for her and for all. Although my kids perfer strawberry cake with buttercream icing for V-Day... most grown-ups dig Red Velvet!

I think the recipe is from my cousin Ashley's grandmother on her Dad's side, Totsy Hagelstein. We just called her "Great".

Great's Red Velvet Cake:
1/2 cup shortening
1 1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs
2 oz. red food coloring
2 1/2 cups flour
1 scant tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
1tsp. soda
1 cup buttermilk
1TBSP vinegar
1 tsp butter flavoring
Cream shortening, sugar and eggs. Make a paste of food coloring and cocoa and add to mixture. Add salt and flour with butter, milk, and vanilla. Alternately add soda and vinegar and don't beat hard, just blend. Pour into two greased and floured round cake pans. Bale at 350 for 30 minutes. Cool completely. Split layers -(dental floss is great for this) to make 4 layers if desired. Frost with Cream Cheese icing, Butter Cream frosting or Divinity icing. (We always use cream cheese for this cake, but if I ever make it, I'll try Divinity.)

Cream Cheese Icing:
8oz cream cheese
1 box powdered sugar
1 stick margarine
1 tsp. Vanilla
Blend ingredients. Whip until creamy. Spread on cake.


Happy Baking! It truly is a pretty cake!

This can also be made as a sheet cake,BUT you will have lots of extra icing if you don't turn it out and split the layer before frosting. Christmas variation ~ make it in a bunt pan and glaze with a powdered sugar, milk and crushed peppermint mixture.

Because of Winn-Dixie

Last night Kolby and I read the first eight chapters of this book by Kate DiCamillo. I cheated and finished the book after Kolby went to bed. The book has been around for years and many consider it a "new Classic". It's only 182 big print pages, but it's story seems to go beyond that.

If any of you are looking for a good book to read with your kids I highly suggest it. I only wish it could have been a little longer... but part of the fun is writing the rest of the story in your mind long after you have put the book down. I have been thinking about India Opal all day today! Someone said this book has been made into a movie and will be released soon...so hurry up and grab a copy before the big screen blows it for you! :)
Because of Winn-Dixie

Did it change you?

"Mommy, does God love the people who lost everything in the tsunami?"
Sobering question.
"Yes, Kolby he loves them very much."
"All of them?"
"All of them, every last one."
" Then why did he let them get hurt."
" ................I don't know honey. I really don't know. Sometimes bad things just happen. "
"I thought God would save them if he loved them."
"That is something that is very hard to understand even for grown ups, but I promise you God loves them."
That is a small glimpse into the talks we have had ever since I decided to stop sheltering Kolby completely from the Tsunami tragedy.

When it first happened we were traveling for Christmas so it was easy to avoid. We never watch the news with the kids around and didn't watch much of the coverage. What I did see, read, and hear broke my heart. I felt my sensitive little six year old was too young to know too much about it. We told her the tsunami was a big wave that hurt a lot of people. But about a week or so ago we had to have the "tsunami talk."

It came up in a weird way. We are planning Kolby's birthday party. My very social daughter had and invitation list a mile long that we paired it down to 24 girls and 8 boys. I told Kolby months ago that this would be a "No Gifts Please" party, not to punish her, but to try to keep her 30 + friends from wasting money on stuff we don't need. (Not to mention that there is no room in our house for 30+ more toys!) But I got to thinking, most people want to give something. So I approached Kolby about asking for donations for the tsunami victims instead of presents. I quickly realized I had sheltered her too well. Kolby didn't seem to get what the big deal was about the tsunami. ( She calls it the two-saw-me)

I tired to explain it in words she would understand, but in a way that would not terrify her and give her nightmares. We talked about what it would be like if a giant wave came and suddenly washed away our house and the houses of everyone in Hewitt. Then I asked what if she and I couldn't find Daddy or Rhett or any of our family? What if every thing we owned in the whole world was just gone? Wouldn't we want someone to help us? Wouldn't we be sad? Wouldn't we pray to God that some one, even some one we didn't know, would help us? Wouldn't God want the people who still had warm homes and plenty of everything to share?

Kolby took it to heart. It was almost an instant transformation. Not only did she want to give them all her birthday presents, she wanted to go through her toys and clothes and send them some nice things. I told her that they really just need money because the people who lost all their things need to get exactly what they want and need. She then wanted to send them her coveted Target Christmas gift card. (Like her Mama, gift cards are her favorite thing!)

Since then we have talked about the tsunami a lot. We have researched aid agencies and talked about where to send her donations. Kolby paid very close attention to the special collection we had at church for the Tsunami victims. Last week she wanted to put all her reading quarters in the jar at school for the victims because "they might need some stuff before my party."

Bless her heart! She thinks her skate party will be able to pay for everything. I think it is important for her to feel what she does and what she gives makes a difference. I think the tsunami has changed Kolby. Her eyes are more open to her blessings and other's misfortunes. I think it has changed me in the same way. Many times lately I have found myself petitioning God for something only to stop mid-prayer and say "Forget that Lord, I don't need anything. That was just totally selfish."

I think more about how to really be about the work of my Father. Sometimes I get so caught up in "just getting through the day" that I forget why I am here. I am here to live a life that glorifies God above all else. This event and Kolby's reaction to it has forced me to take a more spiritual focus and intent in my parenting and think more about the example I set for my kids.

I do not know how to answer all of Kolby's questions about the tsunami ...Or even my own, but this I know... I do not want 200,000 plus people to die in vain. I think this event should change me, change all of us. Nothing will justify this loss, but in memoriam to those who lost so much, the least I can do is try be better and love deeper. God must be glorified or it is all for loss. For all our differences the entire human race recognizes the pain and suffering of this event. I guess pain is universal. But so is love... I hope we are able to show our world love during this horrible trying time.

You can take this rhetorically or literally but the question put on my heart to ask tonight is "How has the Tsunami changed you?" I pray that all our answers together start to form a healing balm that will salve the gaping wound left in the wake of this awful, awful wave.

I know this is long and rambling. If you made it this far...Thanks for reading! :)

Mommy Moments

Indulge me as I share some Mommy moments with you...

Kolby is enjoying Upwards Basketball Cheerleading for 8 weeks. Last night I asked her how practice went as she climbed in the van. She said "Good. Did you know cheerleaders are supposed to yell and jump and act hyper, even inside?" She was quite amazed that I signed her up for this gig!

Yesterday when I asked Rhett how school was... "Let's just talk about your day Mommy. How was shopping?"

Kolby upon finishing her AR book the other night. "Mom do you take a test after you read your blogs?"

A few nights ago Rhett wanted to "lay down for a little" in our bed. We sang a few songs, read a few books and said a few prayers. Rhett then said he was going to sing a song for us. Sort of to the tune of "Jesus loves me"
Mommy loves me, yes she does
Daddy loves me, yes daddy loves me
I sleep in their bed all night!
I laughed all the way to Rhett's room where I deposited him in his bed for the night. But nice try.

Last night Kolby and I were doing Eskimo kisses and butterfly kisses as I tucked her in. At butterfly kisses she said "That tickles but I am going to be brave and not laugh" ... Just cracked me up.

This morning Rhett told McKenna to eat her Pop-tart so she would be "big and strong with stinky breath."
"Stinky breath?" I asked
"Yeah like Mommy's and Daddy's in the morning" as he pretended to smell my breath and plug his nose.

Pardon me while I go brush my teeth!

Open Wide

In keeping with the dental theme that is floating around today... I took Kolby to the dentist this morning for her 6 month check and cleaning. The Hygentist didn't believe Kolby when she said the tooth fairy had come to see us 9 times...but she has. Yes, my daughter has lost nine teeth.

All was well. No new cavities. Then the dentist, Dr. Cox, came in to take a look. The next words out of his mouth were not surprising, but they struck fear in my heart. "This time next year we will probably need to refer you to an orthodontist..."

An ORTHODONTIST.... Already? She's 6 and will be only 7 in two weeks! But it seems Kolby inherited traits from both Rob and I that will set us back thousands of dollars over the next few years, and force her to be a metal mouth. Kolby has big teeth and very small jaws, like me. ( How in the world could I have such an unusually small jaw yet be so gifted in the art of GAB? One of life's little ironies I guess! ;O )

From Rob, Kolby inherited the trait of developing a few extra teeth. ( Rob had over a dozen teeth removed or cut out by age 16) There is no room for all those teeth! That is why Kolby has lost nine baby teeth to make room for only five big permanent teeth. So as soon as the 6 year molars (that they say don't usually come in until age 7~go figure) are in we are off to the wonderful world of orthodontics.

And truly it is great that we live in a time when teeth can be "fixed." It's just that paying for all of this and seeing my baby girl in braces is a bit hard to swallow. I guess I have to face the fact that Kolby is growing up, dang it! As for paying for all of this, well I guess it's like the dentist said this morning,, get out your wallet and "Open wide!"

PS I am having an awful time with blogger. Is anyone else having trouble?

Why I blog

Ok my friends and various other strangers, I feel the need to talk about blogging today.

I love to blog. I love to read other peoples blogs. I love comments. I started this blog as a type of E-journal. A place to vent and explain myself and learn from others. I started in hopes that others could be encouraged by knowing they are not alone when their three year old throws produce at people in the grocery store, or their husband buys them a birthday cake they really don't like.

Because it helps me so much, I thought it might help others to know that Christian women have good days and bad. At times, from a place of love and desiring to be and do better, we question our faith, our Creator, or our congregations. We mourn when loved ones are lost. We rejoice when our toddlers finally get potty training. We share diet dilemmas, pregnancy stories and shopping tips. We learn best by experience, even shared experience. I love to pray for my blog family, even though most of you I would not know if you walked up to me on the street. I think blogging is a way to share, to minister, to encourage and be encouraged.

Having said that, I feel I need to explain that my goals in blogging are not to keep a "day by day, minute by minute, could be published on the front page of the paper" account of my life or the lives of my loved ones. The rules of journalism do not apply here. I may draw on experiences from months ago. I may be very dramatic. This ain't no AP article! (See they can't say "ain't" in the AP unless it's a quote!)

I may have a different take on an event than someone else who was there... It's called perspective. I may color my world rosier or grayer than it really is... Again it is my perspective. I think most of you know this. I don't think it bugs anyone. Just something I needed to vent about. Thanks for reading.

Woosh ... I feel so much better. Out of curiosity, why do you blog? What do you expect to find in blog land? Just wondering.... Hey that is a great title! Hope you have a wonderful blog filled day!

AND my friend Elizabeth (who as you will see in the comments helped spark todays topic... in a good way) has taken up residency in blogland. Go check her blog out here! Welcome to blog land Elizabeth!!!

Vote for Carrie

Ever since she moved in next door, I have been telling my neighbor Carrie that she looks just like Amy Grant. Now she has gone and entered an Amy Grant look alike contest!!! Go vote for Carrie at this Link. or go to star929fm.com and click on the Amy Grant contest link. GO CARRIE!!!!
Ok, in all fairness, if you see someone else who looks more like AG vote for them...but you won't!

Random Fun Friday

Kolby and I just returned from Fort Worth. We took off around 10:30 this morning (after Kolby's spelling test) and headed north to "our old home town", as Kolby calls it. After a pit stop in West for treats from the Czech Stop, we headed for Cowtown's hospital district. From May 1997 to February 1998 (roughly my entire pregnancy with Kolby) I worked for Family Service Hospice. I became very familiar with all the hospitals, and the whole hospital area. Going back there brought back memories of puking into baggies at stop lights, the restaurants around that soothed my crazy pregnancy cravings and more than anything the Chapel at Cooks Childrens Hospital.

Today we went to visit the Copes...well drop off goodies, hug and run before we got in the way. It was so good to see Mike and Diane. They never seem to age!! Both were in good spirits, but that tired Hospital haze was obvious in both their faces. The good news is that Chris is out of ICU and doing as well as a 12 year old can his first day off the major pain meds can do. He was in pain, but from all reports he is right on schedule to make a full, though slow, recovery. That is so good to hear isn't !? Chris will probably be at Cooks another week, but they are not sure about all that yet. I also talked to Sheryl Lemmons. She was very upbeat and expects Austin to go home in the next few days. I didn't talk to Bennets but I think he and Austin are sharing the road to recovery. Good news from the three amigos at Cooks!

After the hospital stop we headed to North Tarrant County for some shopping and sight seeing around our old haunts. Our old house looked sad... made me happy that we don't live there anymore! We spent sometime at Super Target...I forget how huge those super Targets are!!! And then got to go by the Lees house for a visit with Kristi (Yates), Josie and Lauren! Kolby loved getting to play with her "first friend" Lauren and Josie, who Kolby called "Sissy" for the first two years of her life. I loved getting to visit with Kristi.

Kristi taught me how to be a Mom to a baby. Lauren was born 6 weeks before Kolby. Kristi, though three years younger than I, had Josie, who was two ( and adorable) so she was my Mommy Mentor. I love Kristi like a sister. Though we don't visit nearly as often as we should, we pick up right where we left off every time. Funny how most of my best, best friends became my friends during that first Mommy year... and all have kids Kolby's age. Rooky Moms need lots of good friends and BUNKO! Susan, Heidi, Diana, Emily, Karen, & Kristi, I miss you girls!!! Actually, I miss girlfriends in general lately! I think it is time to resurrect Bunko night....Waco girls what do you think??? (OK, the two of you who read this anyway) But I stray.......

Kolby and I made one more swing by the hospital on our way out of town and ended our "Girls trip" with Kolaches and honey bears from the Czech Stop...Yes, twice in one day.. Kolby's choice. It was a great day! Now we're popping corn and about to watch Ella Enchanted. Saturday will be a big day of Cheerleading, birthday parties, and working on that room of mine...No it is nowhere near finished! :)

Hope your weekend is wonderful and full of times with friends!!!

Hallelujah and pass the creamed corn

Well I have to share the words that brought me to absolute sobbing tears tonight. I just read the update on Mikes blog. Please go there and read it for yourself, but I'm about to ruin the ending for you. I was fine through all of it, even the Megan reference, but these last words...

I'm fighting back tears as I tell you that my son appears to be all right. Thanks, Mike

Well it sent me over the edge. Can you imagine what the last 24 hours have been like for Mike, Diane, Matt & Jenna and all the family? Then you reach that point of releif, that hesitant and not to confident point of releif. All the worry, all the fear, all the "will he ever be able to?" thoughts just over load the emotions as they lift. Thank you God for helping Chris heal and helping them all cope... COPE how appropriate that name seems! God bless all who have prayed so hard. Don't let up!

A big helping of creamed corn is on my plate today... but that is so preferable to what could be... I am very blessed and very grateful...creamed corn and all! Good night sweet blog land!

Pray for the Highland family

As all of you probably know Chris Cope was in an awful accident on Sunday. You can check Mike's blog, Brandon's blog and Val's blog for updates.

All I have to say is that no parent should have to have two different children medi-vac-ed to Cooks Childrens Hosipital in such a horrible condition. Chris was two or so when Mike and Diane made the trip with Meagan. I can not imagine how painful it was to make that trip again. These people have had their hearts ripped out more times than anyone should. Please say a special prayer for Mike and Diane.... and for the family of Brody Bourland who I'm sure are reeling from the shock of loosing their precious son.

Dear Lord,
Please, please, please wrap these families in your love and grace. We cry out to you to heal the boys who survived and shelter the family of the boy who did not survive as only you can. Father God we don't know what to say or how to say it, but please let the love and warth felt for these families help to carry them through this tragedy! Your love Lord. Let us love with your Love!
Amen

(PS I'm posting from across the street at my parents, as my computer is still boxed up! NOT the weekend to have the computer in a box in the garage!!!)

Praise Him

Praise him you servants of the Lord;
Praise the name of the Lord.
The Lords name should be praised now and forever
The Lords name should be praised from where the sun rises to where the sun sets
The Lord is supreme over all the nations; his glory reaches to the skies.

No one is like the Lord our God,who rules from heaven, who bends down to look at the skies and the earth.
The Lord lifts the poor from the dirt and takes the helpless from the ashes.
He seats them with princes, the princes of his people.
He gives children to the woman who has none and makes her a happy mother.

Praise the Lord!

Psalm 113
New Century Version

Today is Thursday. Rhett and McKenna are at Mother-day-out. I have the house to myself and the time an energy to get things done. The Lord is good! I am a happy mother who feels the need to praise Him!

I orignally wanted to blog about literature and the evil empire of AR (accelerated reader programs), but after reading Brandons post today, something inside just decided to go a different route. I am going to buckle down and tackel a project I have put off for over a year. I am totally cleaning out and redecoraing our room and office area. The computer will be unplugged and moved to get ready for painting...and to make sure I don't get side-tracked in my beloved blog land. So I'll be back on-line some time next week. Have a great weekend blog family!

PS: If I am really brave I will post before and after shots... but don't count on too many befores!
just discovered webdings!
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You get what you get

and you don't throw a fit!

This phrase has begun to tumble off my tongue as often as the word "hello". My precious little boy is going through a stage right now that has me daydreaming about boarding pre-schools. I am truly having to bite my tongue so often that I have ulcers forming in my mouth, and close my eyes to 'count to ten' so often some may think I'm having seizures.

Rhett has a very strong will (like his Mommy, Daddy and Sister). He also has a high pitched, loud cry. In the nursery as a baby, they called Rhett "Dolphin Boy" because his cry was so loud and so high pitched. I am finding that an iron will and a dolphin cry don't mix well. Add the fact that Rhett is extremely detail oriented and a hefty 38 pound 3 year old boy and ...Well sometimes it's a caustic combination.

Take our quick trip to the grocery this afternoon. Rhett started crying in the parking lot because he didn't want to go in. I didn't really want to go in either but we needed milk so, there was no choice in the matter. After I explained this to him, he went limp in the parking lot with the dolphin scream saying "I don't want to go in! I want to stay in the van." I commandeered a shopping cart from a lady across the way and scooped the screaming blob of dolphin boy into the buggy... His cry then changed to "I don't want to ride in this cart I'm not a baby!" You probably guessed my reaction... "If you cry like a baby, you ride like a baby."

So into HEB we went. Poor Kolby was trying to walk far enough ahead of us so that it wouldn't look like we were together. I wish I could have joined her! Every aisle was a new fit of "I don't want to go down this aisle" mixed in with "I don't want ___or I want a ___" or his typical "I want the BLUE one!" all in the loud dolphin cry. (I think Rhett would drink blue milk and eat blue meat if we could find it. The boy wants EVERYTHING to be blue!#**&^%"#**&;^%)

At first I just ignored him, but when he started throwing produce out of my cart and hitting passers by, I had to do something.... But what can you really do in a grocery store? I had already taken his "one item" privilege away. He was already in the cart. My Mom says to spank, but in this day and age, a pop on the seat in a crowded store is just an invitation for CPS to come calling. So I discretely pinched his leg lightly to get his attention and said "You better stop crying now and be the fine young man I know you can be." .... That did not work at all!

It never got better. In fact it only got worse, if you can imagine! Rhett cried all the way through checking out, loading the car, dropping Kolby off at cheerleading and the whole drive home. Dolphin boy was in rare form.

Finally, with the garage door down and the car securely parked and locked, I burst from the van leaving dolphin boy buckled in with his screams. I ran in the house to call his grandmother who lives across the street."Your grandson may be spending the night in the van, unless you care to deal with him" She had tried to talk to me on my cell during the grocery store visit so she knew what was going on "I'll be right over." It's nice to have a Mom who is actually professionally licensed to work with difficult children just thirty eight foot steps away.

She walked in the door and headed for the garage. I warned her that her hearing might be impaired forever, but she marched on. I watched from the laundry room. Rhett was still in the van screaming. Mom pulled back the door and said "Hey Rhett!" That little toot stopped crying and in the sweetest little voice said "Save me Mama K" ~ Oh PuL-EEZE!!!! And then he dried up his tears and hopped out of the van like nothing ever happened.

I share this for several reasons... First, I know that there are many of you out there who can relate... at least I am hoping there are!!!. (For those of you who have perfect children who would never act this way, please "next blog" on) Any word of advice, comfort, assurance? Am I the only Mommy wondering if there is such s thing as a boarding military pre-school?-haha! How do you handle the grocery store? What do I do with Dolphin Boy? I have visions of Rhett being 19 years old, 6.4 Ft tall, weighing 240 and still crumpling to the floor crying when he doesn't get his way screaming "I want the BLUE one!!!" AGGGGG!

The other reason I share this is I had a young friend comment on how easy life must be when your married with two kids and you get to stay home. For any of you single dreamers who still think stay-home Moms sit around watching Oprah and eating Bon Bons, I am here to tell you that it just ain't so!!! Please understand that I am very blessed in my life. My husband, my kids, our house, my life are all more than I ever dreamed of...But easy? This is not easy. Truth in blogging... Being a stay home Mom is really tough at times. Today was one of those days! I can't share all the chicken soup-ish cute stories without letting you in on some of the bad. Parenting is not for cowards.

Lastly, days like today make me realize how much I need God. The last few weeks have been busy, but not really hard. Today was hard. Today I find myself on my knees praying that I will be the Mom I need to be to my son, that God will cover my shortcomings with Rhett and help him in ways I can't. Today I plead for the Heavenly Father to take over Rhett and I trust that HE will not let either of us down. How could anyone parent without God in their life? How could there ever be any sense of security on hard days like today if the creator of the Universe wasn't there to "get your back" when it comes to raising kids? I would have a lot worse than a hole in my tongue and a splitting headache if I couldn't turn to the ultimate Father on days like this, and for that I MUST praise Him!

Thank you Father God for being here with me! It's so good to know you always know what is best even when I feel lost and overwhelmed. Thank you for loving my children even more than I can. Thank you for being so patient with me, your flawed and imperfect child! ...................and could you PLEASE work on lowering that Dolphin cry ? :)

Hope you are not having one of Those days!

Secret's out!

First the teachers lounge was a huge hit!(Even though I did plug all three microwaves into one outlet causing the circuit to blow and the lights to go out for a minute or two ...oooppps!) The sweet teachers have been so expressive in their gratitude!

Then today Mae finally let the cat out of the bag! Go to her blog to read the big news and congratulate her!

AND Brandon and Sheryl are having a BOY! Little Sam Thomas, we can't wait to meet you!
What a fun week! I have big hopes for 2005 and so far I have not been disappointed!:)

A little Mommy side note: A week or so ago Rhett just out of the blue said "Mommy, my Thomas party was an ENORMOUS Success." WOW ! This tickled me for many reasons... First of all his party was in September and it was December. Second, what three year old says enormous success? And third, it is always nice to be appreciated, even if it is a little late and out of character.
Hope your day is an ENORMOUS SUCCESS!

It is finished

Ok my big secret is out of the bag!! (Not that it was a secret to blog world because I mentioned that a friend and I were redoing the teachers lounge over the holidays.) Today the teachers went back to find their "stark white walls, no color, no art, no homey feel" teacher lounge completely transformed. It took A LOT of work, but the sound of my friend Alain's voice on the phone this morning made it all worth while. "Holy COW!!!" she said as she called me from school to tell me the reaction to the big surprise. My "before" pictures are still in the camera, but my friend and cohort Shae Dickey took these after pictures last night as we finished it all up.
This is what I did over Christmas break.....


Notice the new floor.


Dark beige and an "ink drop" navy stripe cover two walls.


Added some "funk" above the eletric blue cabinets.


New curtains, valances, tables and decor.

New desk area


new curtains





the ugly corner


I want this bookcase!
So anyone up for a room makeover????

Secrets

I can not blog today because everything on my mind "Is a secret" CREAMED CORN!

I have a love/hate relationships with secrets. I am a great secret keeper if it is not MY secret. My "secrets" unnerve me. Unless it is for something like a really great surprise, I usually don't like to make things secret. I have pulled off many a surprise party in my life and those were very fun secrets. I have also had to carry some not so fun secrets around before. Bad secrets are awful. The sooner they can be dumped, the better. But good or bad, I seldom let a secret go until it's time.

Rob, on the other hand, can not keep a secret at all! Of course he knows when to use discretion and bad secrets are safe with him, but other secrets are as good as told when he learns them. He even has a hard time keeping Christmas and birthday presents secret. It is sorta a game with us now... but with Rob it is an endearing quality. Other people who blab before it is time get on my nerves.

What about you? Can you keep a secret?

Worrying

I have this quote framed on my desk. It has been there for years.
I first framed it for my Nana who made worrying a life long hobby.
Funny how the older I get the more truth I see in these words. Hope you have a great day with no worries! : )

Adult A.D.D. defined ...

My house looks like a total disaster area. Seriously!!! Christmas has almost left the building but the aftermath is crazy. I find myself overwhelmed and not sure where to start. It's times like this that my true ADD nature rears it's ugly head!

If any of you ever doubt that there is true legitimate adult ADD please read this. It's not original to me but it could be... focus, focus, focus!

I decide to wash my car.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left my extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers aren't watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,

and I'm really tired.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Ahhhh a new day and a new year! I think 2005 is going to be a great year for the Grosz family.

Got any good resolutions you want to share??

For a fun way to eat your "New Years black eyed peas", try this recipe. (My grandmother swore by the black-eyed pea tradition!)

TEXAS CAVIAR
In a LARGE bowl combine:
3 cans of black-eyed peas with Jalapeno peppers AND
2 cans black-eyed peas (drained together and rinsed in a colander)
one large purple onion diced
one small white onion diced
two green peppers diced
two medium tomatoes cubed
salt or garlic salt to taste (optional)
one medium bottle of Wishbone brand Italian dressing (Fat free works great)
Refrigerate and store in an airtight container. Keeps 3- 4 days.
Serve with tortilla chips in place of chunky salsa.

This recipe has become a tradition in our family for New Years Eve/Day ever since Clara Talley shared it with us nine years ago. Thank you Clare! It is so much a tradition that yesterday, during my all day paint-a-thon at the school, Rob decided to mix up a batch of it on his own. He did a great job! Chunkier than my version but, yum yum... and I am eating it now! Thanks honey!

Still cleaning and painting. Just four more days to get it all done! :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR BLOG FAMILY!

P.S. I am enabling anon. comments again for visitors to blogland and for the lady at HEB. (tell ya' later) Just don't cuss at me or rip on the President. OK? : )